As many of you know my daughter was born with a cleft lip and palate. Its been a rollercoaster ride. This time last year i was about to start a new job and couldnt tell you hardly anything about Clefts. A year later and I feel like a pseudo-expert on the topic. I had made a couple posts in GD and got some good advice, so now I want to share back.

On Feb 4 she had the first surgery to repair her nose and lip. Shit is amazing what plastic surgeons can do. The level of technical expertise is mind blowing. Like even when she had the stitches in---the stitchwork was so fine-- it looked like a machine had sewn her up.

The hardest thing is actually weird....Im still not over missing her "old face" I had read articles like this: (http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/03/09/the-cleft-lip-smile-i-never-knew-id-miss/?_r=0) about missing the cleft...and up until the surgery I was like whatever. But it was a shock to see her immediately after surgery looking so different. Man that cleft smile was so awesome and big.

Up next is palate surgery in june/july.

Its been a rollercoaster ride but if any of you ever have kids or friends who have kids with a facial difference and need advice, support hit me up.

here are the before and afters
http://imgur.com/8tfPh64
http://imgur.com/xBbfNex
http://imgur.com/LxzFcE3
http://imgur.com/XWkP3k4
http://i.imgur.com/WXJc8Tt (sideways)



Also this is a great blog post I wanna share with everyone:
http://themighty.com/2015/01/to-the-mom-or-dad-who-told-their-child-not-to-stare-at-mine/
(my favorite part)

Staring is rude. Pointing is rude. You know this. You’re embarrassed by your child because they’re pointing or staring. You shush your child and pull them away quickly, and I know you’re doing it to save my feelings, but my feelings are not so fragile and your action is doing real damage. You’re teaching your child to be afraid of what they don’t understand. I bet that most of you have a short conversation about diversity and not staring later; you’re good parents, after all. I would like to challenge you to have the conversation right there. Put a smile on.

Say hello. Introduce yourself and your child. I will introduce myself and my children. Your child will ask questions. Likely the same questions you would want to ask, but you feel rude highlighting the differences, even when they’re obvious.
Here’s the thing: kids categorize. They need your help — and maybe mine — to make sure Sarah gets into the right category. They ask questions to figure out how things fit in their world. When you don’t let them ask their “rude” questions, you confirm my daughter as “other.” Believe it or not, every kid I’ve met who was allowed to ask as many “rude” questions as they liked, learned in just minutes to see my daughter as I see her. She is just a kid.

She loves lollipops. She laughs at her granddad. She has favorite music. She’s going to school this year. Her favorite color changes all the time. Today it was green. She has a younger sister and an older sister. Her favorite TV show is “Veggie Tales.” She’s Daddy’s punkin and Mommy’s sweet pea. She will absolutely charm you with her wide, blue eyes.

Imagine what my daughter sees. A sweet little face unable to look away from her. Pointing. Then an adult pulls the child away, consciously avoiding looking at her. Now imagine this happening over and over again. She’s a bright little girl, and this is hurtful.

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"though time has passed, im still the future" (c) black thought