"Maybe I shouldn't have told my boy to marry that girl. "
So two weeks before my boy was to get married he called me and he said he and his lady had been having lots of hearts to heart and they were doubting whether they wanted to get married. My position was, look homey we've bought those expensive tickets and I expect to see a wedding. Joking aside, I said that he was just experiencing cold feet and everyone does.
Now I had my reservation. Dude had been caught out there and at times it seemed like she would never be able to get past it. However, my dude had other friends and people in his life to give him the don't do it, reconsider argument. I know another mutual friend did it. Also his mom hit him with, "the choice is yours and we will support you either way" (coming from a mom that's an effective "don't do it").
At the end of the day my advice was calling off the wedding a few days before the event is some stuff for the movies, give it a try and if it don't work out you'll know soon enough and then you can call it quits.
Well they did get married and in a short time later she was pregnant, which of course, changes everything.
These days dude seems a bit defeated. Everytime we talk the first thing out of his mouth is some story of her making his life miserable. I've been discounting that talk alot because dude always talks like that and the fact is I always felt dude needed someone to come down hard on him because he was immature and needed some growing up to do.
But what has made me thinking there marriage was maybe a mistake is that this girl does a lot of open talk about divorce. Like she made a comment about how she wanted to go to the doctor because dude recently dropped their newborn accidentally in order to leave a paper trial of his bad parenting in case they get divorce. Who does that!?!?!?
A couple of things:
1. Ever known couples whose main form of communication is bickering? They are one of those. Even when they aren't mad at each other they are bickering. What happens to those couples?
2. I am getting the general impression that it is harder to marry children of divorce (even harder than dating a child of a single parent). I feel like a.) they tend to be suspicious and cynical about the whole institution of marriage and b.) they are are kind of quick to check out and go the divorce route. I am a firm believer that an unhappy couple without kids should divorce but I don't believe it should be that simple a decision when kids are involved.
3. Umm, Is it too late to say dude I may have been wrong with my advice?
4. Do people really call off weddings two weeks before? Ever seen that happen?
********** "Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson
"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're r