5. Fried Bologna with mustard on wheat: This isn't so much a favorite sandwich as it is my go to when I'm super drunk and I'm already at home. It isn't that it's a great sandwich, it's that I can make about 7 of the things before I pass out on the couch.

4. Mortadella, swiss, and mustard on a roll: New Jersey introduced me to the glorious meat that is mortadella. It's like if bologna won an all expenses paid trip to Italy and came back with a greater appreciation for its heritage. I'm sure this shit will kill me, but fuck it.

3. Peanut butter and Jelly: Put it this way. I don't eat these a lot, but when I want one there is nothing on this planet that can sate my hunger save for the rich taste of nostalgia. Also, I wish someone had told me that you can grill these things when I was younger. I would have led a happier life.

2: Egg Salad on rye: Just like you can tell if someone can cook by how bad they can fuck up a simple egg, I judge delis based on their egg salad. A good egg salad sandwich is my ideal lunch food for a busy day. Just filling enough to keep you going, but light enough so that it doesn't put you on your back. If you get that wrong, you need to reevaluate having a career in food service.

1: The Rueben: I'm not even sure what to say. I love all of the components separately, but some how when they're together they form a flavor profile so powerful they even make me believe that thousand island dressing tastes good. That is indeed a mighty task.

Now you go...I want to read some food porn.

"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts..." -The Bard