19. "it means you've captured their attention. " In response to In response to 0
in some heteros, you may be capturing their attention because you are stirring up some inchoate, vaguely homoerotic desire for male closeness in them.
but a lot of times it's not even that deep.
they just noticed something about you that they want to look at more. it's a totally unconscious thing, and you are likely more aware of it than he is, because a huge portion of how gay men feel each other out has to do with eye contact and analyzing the gaze of other men.
truth is, it's impossible to really know where his head is at without subtly pushing the boundaries in terms of how you react to him and see how he reacts (standing in closer proximity and seeing if he's uncomfortable, looking him up and down and seeing how he reacts, etc.)
but you can't make an accurate read now because you need more information.
but the fact that you are even asking this question gives me the impression that you may have some interest in this hetero...
and unless you are prepared to deal with the obvious and not so obvious emotional complications of subtly seducing a straight dude, i'd drop the matter completely and leave his thoughts in his head and not try to figure them out.
this is definitely a do as i say, not as i do type situation. because while i carry a torch for no one, there's usually always a straight/ mostly straight/ possibly closeted gay person that i have on the back burner of my emotional life...
a stew that i am constantly bringing to a simmer, perfecting the seasoning, always aware that at some point, both of us may be ready to eat a little bit of stew and get it in.
i dunno how "healthy" that is, but i still do it just because i'm always curious about how that could turn out.
if my past is any indication, the best case scenerio is a passionate, explosive consummation with a dude that is still just as uncomfortable with the idea of gayness as you were when you were 12 years old.
since i am now 32 years old, i can't say i am about that life the way i was when i was a younger, less confident gay.
but i still flirt with dudes i like in this subtle way as if i may hit jackpot.
but i don't invest myself in those types of relationships emotionally for the same reason i don't quit my day job planning on beating the house in a Las Vegas Casino.
continue to pursue gays in your real life, making every attempt to give them your full attention, but if you do decide to play this game with a straight dude, don't prioritize it because there's a 98 precent chance that nothing will ever come of it.
^ that's me projecting 100 percent of my shit on you. i dunno what's going on in your life. but hopefully that helps.