>1) Keep your kids close, be honest, listen to them, ask them
>questions, constantly check with them on their emotional
>state. Being able to talk through it helps a ton for them. I
>won't sugar coat it though. First few weeks/months might be
>tough...for both you and them.

I do this often with both kids, but especially to my soon to be 7 year old son. He's high energy but very sensitive. I'm most worried about him.
>
>2) Your situation is waaaaaaaaaay more positive than you know.
> So take refuge in that. You'll be close to the kids, in an
>agreeable situation where she's not bitter/vindictive and
>won't struggle-struggle financially (I know it'll be tighter
>but if you can manage it, you're in a great space).
>
She'll be much tighter than me on finances, but we'll both struggle initially. She has absolutely no reason in the world to be vindictive with me - she should realize she got the pass of a lifetime when I accepted her and agreed to keeping things 50/50. I have my gripes, but I've been able to set my ego aside and get along fine with her. I'll do my best to stay very cordial with her.

>3) Mourn the loss of the relationship and take a lil time to
>heal. Don't sulk too much or let anger consume you. She's
>living her truth and in time you'll realize that's better for
>both of you than forcing it. This happened so you can find
>the space you need to be in.

This is spot on. I know I'll definitely be better off in the long term so it's wasted energy letting anger and bitterness consume me.
>
>4) I'm on marriage #2 and trust me, it gets better. Mainly
>because you'll know yourself more and will be much more keen
>on the type of person you allow into your life. There's a bit
>more at stake. So if it's serious, you'll vet more
>thoroughly. And if it's not, you'll make sure there are clear
>boundaries.
>
Yeah, I can see this. I know damn well if I do ever get to the point of considering marriage again, there will be zero doubt in the world and I'll have a much more clear understanding of what I want in a relationship and partner.

>5) Make your ex accountable but not at the expense of the
>kids. There will be times where she's trying to unload them
>on you during 'her' time. As a dad, your first instinct will
>be to clamor for that extra time, but at the same time, be
>careful not to enable her. If you're doing more work, why
>should it be a 50/50 split of responsibility? Make sure she
>pulls her weight or pays for it. One or the other, no in
>between.
>
>6) Lastly, my condolences. I know it's tough but trust me,
>you can come through the other end a better
>everything...husband/mate, father, person, lover...etc. This
>trial is not too great to overcome.

This gives me hope. Thanks again for taking time to respond.