>stick to this over everything. No matter how bad things get
>between you and her. Always put the kids first. My parents
>divorced when I was 12. My dad cheated on my mom. But my mom
>never told us. She didnt want us to think any less of him. She
>also knew it didnt change the kind of father he was. So she
>put all the bullshit aside and they kept it friendly for us.
>They had joint custody and we went to my dad's every other
>weekend. But he had the freedom to come visit anytime he
>wanted. All he had to do was call. When we had little league
>games he was there. Birthday parties, he was there. Parent
>teacher conference, he was there. If he wanted to call and
>check in on us that was fine too. My mom was always cordial to
>him. They never made it uncomfortable for us when they were in
>the same room together. Growing up most of my friends had
>parents who were divorced and I heard horror stories about how
>their parents couldnt stand each other. Or how messy the
>divorce was. But we didnt have to deal with any of that.
>
>Now im not going to say the divorce didnt mess me up. It did.
>I dont think there is anyway for a child not to be affected by
>a divorce. But I never thought it was my fault. I always
>appreciated how our parents put us first through the whole
>thing.

I'm hoping we remain this cordial through the years. I mean, I'm sure I'll be pissed at her for awhile, but I know time heals most wounds. Even at our worst she always praised me for being a great father to our kids.

When we first discussed our future I told her how incredibly hard this was going to be on me and that I was going to struggle for awhile. She assured me that we can still do weekly or bi-weekly dinners and I can always stop over if it's getting too bad on me. I don't want to send my kids mixed signals and get their hopes up for a reunion, but I think it would be great if we remain on good terms.

Your story gives me hope!