5. "Main thing is to make sure your child knows you care..." In response to In response to 0
... Legit care not fake care.
If god forbid your ex dies the last thing you want to tell your child two words into your first conversation post loss is "If you let me use you then I'll use you" or something crazy like that.
You better than me because I'd went in the whole other direction especially after the ex is out here acting like yall don't have kids staying up wild late at night. Damn that has to suck. Focus on being the dad that you never had. Be the best man you can be for yourself and your seeds. It's kinda easy right now to hate your spouse for being so selfish but she could've lied about all this and kept up the facade. At least you know and don't get a surprise on your child's birthday or some crazy shit like that.
Keep your head up and try not to let your children know how much this impacts you. They'll know it impacts you but don't be on some "your mom is doing x, y, and z that is killing my soul". Hope everything works out for you and the fam.