the older 2, I try to 'guide' more than 'parent'. My 10 yr old I hover over.
I have older stepsons, but I backed off. My expectations are way high and I tend to revise history and forget my own missteps.
I'm more of a counselor; I can tell you how to get out of your fucked-up situation. Right after I rub your nose in how many times I told you not to do THAT. LOL