37. "you're free to make choices but you're not free from the consequences" In response to In response to 0
of those choices.
i'm a firm believer in this. i have comfortably and confidently maneuvered through life for over four decades with this premise in mind. i'll make whatever choice is see fit cuz if the shit goes wrong, it's on me. nobody is gonna rescue me from the situation i put myself in.
and i'm good with that.
but it makes it hard to be a parent cuz on one hand, you wanna make sure your kids end up ok. but you gotta let them take their lumps and learn their lessons.
my first grandchild will be here at the end of the summer. and this dude ain't nowhere near ready to provide for this new family...at least not on the level i expect. which may be part of the problem.
on one hand, if he gotta live in a low budget crib that's a slight step up from the projects and take the bus everywhere and rely on WIC & food stamps and live that struggle life...those are the consequences that come from his own decisions. every time i said go right and he chose to go left...every time i told him to do this and he did that...all those crossroads lead to where he is now.
pain is one helluva teacher
on the other hand, i have a sense of "that's mine...they're in my circle". so i want to step in and provide and make up where he falls short.
but that can only be done to an extent cuz doing it too much is enabling and he'll never end up doing better that way.
wild part is...i'm not really excited about the grand kid. all i can think about is another young black girl growing up in the struggle. i can't partake in the conversations about hair texture and what kind of clothes to buy her and all the stuff him & his girlfriend yap about cuz all the convo i got for either of them is on that GET UP, GET OUT, AND GET SOMETHING...