>I've felt that. But living on the West Coast, I had to let it
>go a bit or else I'd be limiting my experience and making life
>harder than it needs to be. Just gotta deal with being around
>a whole lot of Mexicans, Asians, Armenians, whites, etc.
>
>I'm sure white dudes feel the same way in black barbershops
>that I do when I go them hella white hipster coffe shops with
>crazy drink names. But shit I'm tryin to live a dope life,
>can't be on that "what do they think of me? do they want me
>here?" all the time. Who gives a fuck.
>
>Can't let these white folk just read think pieces and vote
>democrat but never be around actual black people. Nope. I'm
>gon be ALL UP in your personal spaces, your bars, your
>parties, your everything. Can't get away from this nigga.



that I went to private school and where I was for a few years was deep in pockets where I was surrounded by wealthy white liberals (like, "oh you are Mr so and so?" *looks at name of building I would be standing in front of at the time "Well, nice to meet you!") Like......spots team owning levels of wealth.

when I say "entitlement is not in my rolodex" i mean that I would always second guess myself when it came to dealing deals and spinning wheels during meet and greets, and schmoozing events.

My classmates and colleagues went ass over teakettle and got buddy buddy with those people. I could never fully feel comfortable in those situations

now the stuff that you mention, I mean, I'm always going to be me and I have no issue going where the white folks are...black nerd since day one, however for the sake of this post I am letting hang out and state that I am aware of the subtle shifts that happen when I come into a room and it makes for a bit of internal dialog when I question peoples intentions....is it interest or disinterest? is there a welcome vibe or no welcome vibe?

some people can just bypass that shit and I think its for me more of me being an over-think-y ambivert

or maybe I am wrong and a lot of people feel that shit.

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https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me