If I didnt see it I wouldn't believe it.

http://mashable.com/2015/03/12/ohio-poop-bandit/

"The Bowel Movement Bandit," "Poopgangsta," and "The Phantom Pooper" are just a few of the names given to an Ohio man who is suspected of defecating on at least 19 cars over the past three years.

The miscreant has a distinct modus operandi, according to local reports. He typically strikes anywhere from 5:30 to 6:30 a.m to ensure an especially — well, shitty — morning commute for his victims. From Chevrolets to Camrys, no car make or model is safe.

SEE ALSO: How to tell if you'd make a good poop donor

The Mystery Pooper, who has not been identified, has restricted his bowel bombardments to one neighborhood in Akron thus far, according to ABC News, though some have been hit multiple times. One woman's car has been pooped on seven times over the years; another man said his car has been struck six times, with the feces being smeared it on his car's hood, door handles, gas tank cover, windshield and mirrors.