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I'm a stay at home mom. I used to take care of my disabled mother in law and my 2 year old daughter. At first, my hubby expected the house to be spotless, my chores to be done, his mom to make all her appointments, I was to get a workout in, dinner on the table, and be able to please him sexually when wanted. And, it was supposed to be done every night.
He found out that not only this wasn't realistic, that it was driving his wife crazy and she was turning into a real bitch! It was during this time I found out I have ADD/ADHD. We also realized some other things about our marriage and we did some things to make changes.
What I would say is know your limitations. Understand that the stay at home person is not Superman/Superwoman. And, just because they aren't working a 9-5, they are working too. Hell, my job doesn't stop at 5. I have a 24 hour a day, 7 day a week job, 365 days a year job. And, she doesn't allow me to have sick days. So, know your limitations. Try to spread your work over the week. And, if you can come up with a plan before you start a week, do it.
My to-do list is essential for me to get things done day to day, if not, I'm a total mess. So, I would share with your working spouse your to-do list and see if you guys agree. Add and subtract things. So that you both understand what you have to do throughout the day, and they don't think you are just sitting on your ass eating bonbons via Peg Bundy. "We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents" - Bob Ross
"I'm wearing a MSU Tshirt because I went to MSU, you are wearing a UM Tshirt because you went to Walmart!" -unknown.
http://bjsquirrelchronicles.blogspot.com
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