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DrNO
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Fri Sep-19-03 02:52 AM

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124. "his cold creek manor review"
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just a recent example of how entertaining and insightful his stuff is.

1 1/2

"Cold Creek Manor" is another one of those movies where a demented fiend devotes an extraordinary amount of energy to setting up scenes for the camera. Think of the trouble it would be for one man, working alone, to kill a horse and dump it into a swimming pool. The movie is an anthology of cliches, not neglecting both the Talking Killer, who talks when he should be at work, and the reliable climax where both the villain and his victims go to a great deal of inconvenience to climb to a high place so that one of them can fall off.

The movie stars Dennis Quaid and Sharon Stone as Cooper and Leah Tilson, who get fed up with the city and move to the country, purchasing a property that looks like the House of the Seven Gables crossed with the Amityville Horror. This house is going to need a lot of work. In "Under the Tuscan Sun," another new movie, Diane Lane is able to find some cheerful Polish workers to rehab her Tuscan villa, but the Tilsons have the extraordinarily bad judgment to hire the former owner of the house, Dale Massie (Stephen Dorff), an ex-con with a missing family. "Do you know what you're getting yourselves into?" asks a helpful local. No, but everybody in the audience does.

The movie of course issues two small children to the Tilsons, so that their little screams can pipe up on cue, as when the beloved horse is found in the pool. And both Cooper and Leah are tinged with the suggestion of adultery, because in American movies, as we all know, sexual misconduct leads to bad real estate choices.

In all movies involving city people who move to the country, there is an unwritten rule that everybody down at the diner knows all about the history of the new property and the secrets of its former owners. The locals act as a kind of Greek chorus, living permanently at the diner and prepared on a moment's notice to issue portentous warnings or gratuitous insults. The key player this time is Ruby (Juliette Lewis), Dale's battered girlfriend, whose sister is Sheriff Annie Ferguson (Dana Eskelson). She smokes a lot, always an ominous sign, and is ambiguous about Dale -- she loves the lug, but gee, does he always have to be pounding on her? The scene where she claims she wasn't hit, she only fell, is the most perfunctory demonstration possible of the battered woman in denial.

No one in this movie has a shred of common sense. The Tilsons are always leaving doors open even though they know terrible dangers lurk outside, and they are agonizingly slow to realize that Dale Massie is not only the wrong person to rehab their house, but the wrong person to be in the same state with.

Various clues, accompanied by portentous music, ominous winds, gathering clouds, etc., lead to the possibility that clues to Dale's crimes can be found at the bottom of an old well, and we are not disappointed in our expectation that Stone will sooner or later find herself at the bottom of that well. But answer me this. If you were a vicious mad-dog killer and wanted to get rid of the Tilsons and had just pushed Leah down the well, and Cooper was all alone in the woods leaning over the well and trying to pull his wife back to the surface, would you just go ahead and push him in? Or what?

But no. The audience has to undergo an extended scene in which Cooper is not pushed down the well, in order for everyone to hurry back to the house, climb up to the roof, fall off, etc. Dale Massie is not a villain in this movie, but an enabler, a character who doesn't want to kill but exists only to expedite the plot. Everything he does is after a look at the script, so that he appears, disappears, threatens, seems nice, looms, fades, pushes, doesn't push, all so that we in the audience can be frightened or, in my case, amused.

"Cold Creek Manor" was directed by Mike Figgis, a superb director of drama ("Leaving Las Vegas"), digital experimentation ("Timecode"), adaptations of the classics ("Miss Julie") and atmospheric film noir ("Stormy Monday"). But he has made a thriller that thrills us only if we abandon all common sense. Of course preposterous things happen in all thrillers, but there must be at least a gesture in the direction of plausibility, or we lose patience. When evil Dale Massie just stands there in the woods and doesn't push Cooper Tilson down the well, he stops being a killer and becomes an excuse for the movie to toy with us -- and it's always better when a thriller toys with the victims instead of the audience.



_
http://youtube.com/watch?v=4TztqYaemt0
http://preptimeposse.blogspot.com/

  

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roger ebert is the G.O.A.T. [View all] , ricky_BUTLER, Tue Sep-16-03 06:02 PM
 
Subject Author Message Date ID
he's always been my favorite...
Sep 16th 2003
1
he's got nothing on Leonard Maltin
Sep 16th 2003
2
can i aim a gun at you through the computer?
Sep 16th 2003
4
      hi im DrNO
Sep 16th 2003
5
           i don't get it
Sep 16th 2003
6
                Well i loved it
Sep 16th 2003
7
                     well, me and my ugly bitch cohost
Sep 16th 2003
8
                          RE: well, me and my ugly bitch cohost
Sep 17th 2003
16
                               i thought knockaround guys was alright
Sep 17th 2003
77
                                    RE: knockaround guys was awful
Sep 18th 2003
99
Thats always been my point of view
Sep 16th 2003
3
he's got his flaws
Sep 17th 2003
9
cop and a half got 3 stars?!
Sep 17th 2003
17
      RE: cop and a half got 3 stars?!
Sep 17th 2003
26
      RE: cop and a half got 3 stars?!
Sep 17th 2003
45
No
Sep 17th 2003
10
dear friday (no, thats supposed to be dear john)
Sep 17th 2003
18
      RE: dear friday (no, thats supposed to be dear john)
Sep 17th 2003
27
           someone should watch more john hughes movies.
Sep 17th 2003
29
           RE: someone should watch more john hughes movies.
Sep 17th 2003
40
                you dissing the breakfast club? oh no you didnt-
Sep 17th 2003
43
                RE: you dissing the breakfast club? oh no you didnt-
Sep 17th 2003
50
                     curly sue killed my childhood
Sep 17th 2003
54
                          RE: curly sue killed my childhood
Sep 17th 2003
55
                Friday...Just two little questions
Sep 17th 2003
47
                     RE: Friday...Just two little questions
Sep 17th 2003
51
                          RE: Friday...Just two little questions
Sep 17th 2003
64
                               RE: Friday...Just two little questions
Sep 17th 2003
66
                                    RE: Friday...Just two little questions
Sep 17th 2003
68
                                         not at all.
Sep 17th 2003
70
                                              i dont think you or Walsh
Sep 17th 2003
72
                                                   RE: i dont think you or Walsh
Sep 17th 2003
78
           the arts are all about escapism
Sep 17th 2003
33
                RE: the arts are all about escapism
Sep 17th 2003
36
                     no
Sep 17th 2003
39
                          But still not true
Sep 17th 2003
41
                               noted....
Sep 17th 2003
42
                                    Sometimes
Sep 17th 2003
44
He gave 'Usual Suspects' thumbs down!
Sep 17th 2003
11
me and roger agreed.
Sep 17th 2003
19
      That movie's not all about the end (spoilers)
Sep 17th 2003
23
      i don't want to get into this again/edit
Sep 17th 2003
24
           Read the edit to my post
Sep 17th 2003
25
      I thought I was the only one
Sep 17th 2003
46
           you, me, and friday
Sep 17th 2003
48
           at least I'm in good company
Sep 17th 2003
61
           Another lost cause? Woe is me...
Sep 17th 2003
49
At least he's always honest.
Sep 17th 2003
12
yeah
Sep 17th 2003
82
Fuck him
Sep 17th 2003
13
i spit on your grave
Sep 17th 2003
21
      RE: i spit on your grave
Sep 17th 2003
56
           ebert on fight club
Sep 17th 2003
57
he is A goat
Sep 17th 2003
14
I think Vincent Gallo put it best
Sep 17th 2003
15
ebert won that battle of the words
Sep 17th 2003
22
      as sad is this may be he hasn't had the last word yet
Sep 17th 2003
28
           is that for real?
Sep 17th 2003
30
                and Roger Ebert as large as he is
Sep 17th 2003
31
                     ebert v. siskel
Sep 17th 2003
32
                          sorry but I grew up around this subject
Sep 17th 2003
34
                               oh i see
Sep 17th 2003
35
Fuck a ebert..up with BONSU!!!
Sep 17th 2003
20
rex reed is the GOAT
Sep 17th 2003
37
Siskel was much better
Sep 17th 2003
38
I miss the Siskel & Ebert days
Sep 17th 2003
59
      He's a shitty columnist too.
Sep 17th 2003
87
           he already lives in chicago
Sep 17th 2003
88
                if that was the criteria
Sep 17th 2003
90
                     he married chaz in 93
Sep 17th 2003
91
                          naw, there was a marked decline
Sep 17th 2003
92
                               do you know when that was exactly?
Sep 17th 2003
93
                                    I need to go to bed, but
Sep 17th 2003
94
                                         patiently waiting
Sep 17th 2003
95
                                              LOL. blame Chaz.
Sep 17th 2003
96
Pauline Kael is the G.O.A.T.
Sep 17th 2003
52
and she praised Ebert
Sep 17th 2003
81
true, but Richard Roeper is garbage
Sep 17th 2003
53
My problem with Ebert
Sep 17th 2003
58
but film is a visual medium
Sep 17th 2003
60
      So many directors don't get it
Sep 17th 2003
75
I'll always be annoyed at him
Sep 17th 2003
62
ebert on raising arizona
Sep 17th 2003
65
that movie ISNT good though
Sep 17th 2003
83
D A V I D W A L S H
Sep 17th 2003
63
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sep 17th 2003
67
cosign with Ricky
Sep 17th 2003
69
RE: cosign with Ricky
Sep 17th 2003
71
      RE: cosign with Ricky
Sep 17th 2003
73
           RE: cosign with Ricky
Sep 17th 2003
79
????????? (that's all i could think of)
Sep 17th 2003
74
      RE: ????????? (that's all i could think of)
Sep 17th 2003
76
           SSU FIlm Institute
Sep 17th 2003
80
                RE: SSU FIlm Institute
Sep 17th 2003
84
critics with overt political readings of films
Sep 17th 2003
86
Anthony Lane, no contest.
Sep 17th 2003
85
the new yorker guy?
Sep 17th 2003
89
      my justification
Sep 18th 2003
98
the roger-chaz-black film connection
Sep 18th 2003
97
now a white guy can be suspect
Sep 18th 2003
100
      RE: & now a brotha's view
Sep 18th 2003
101
      well
Sep 18th 2003
119
People's Exhibit A
Sep 18th 2003
102
RE: Harlem Nights vs Hoodlum
Sep 18th 2003
103
I didn't like Roth's performance in Hoodlum
Sep 18th 2003
104
      RE: I didn't like Roth's performance in Hoodlum
Sep 18th 2003
105
           Yeah he's the only good thing in Planet of the Apes
Sep 18th 2003
106
not sure what your point is, but
Sep 18th 2003
108
my point is
Sep 18th 2003
112
      but if his soft spot is crappy black movies
Sep 18th 2003
118
           the original point
Sep 18th 2003
122
                RE: Possibly
Sep 19th 2003
125
Hoodlum is one of the few movies...
Sep 20th 2003
132
Exhibit B
Sep 18th 2003
107
jungle fever/higher learning are 'black films'
Sep 18th 2003
109
      no
Sep 18th 2003
110
           He's softer on all films than he used to be
Sep 18th 2003
111
           Since 1993?
Sep 18th 2003
113
                Higher Learning was 95!
Sep 18th 2003
114
                     gracias
Sep 18th 2003
116
           he's been historically soft on black films
Sep 18th 2003
115
                I'd also like to add
Sep 18th 2003
117
so what we learned . . .
Sep 18th 2003
120
RE: so what we learned . . .
Sep 18th 2003
121
Roeper has the best job in the world
Sep 18th 2003
123
      hahaha...so true
Sep 20th 2003
133
Exhibit C: The Smoking Gun
Sep 19th 2003
126
white people like gangster films too
Sep 19th 2003
127
      enter it for the defense
Sep 19th 2003
128
      yup
Sep 19th 2003
129
      You don't have to think it sucks...
Sep 20th 2003
131
      in all seriousness
Sep 19th 2003
130
the term G.O.A.T.
Sep 23rd 2003
134

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