flow, vocab, impact, years- respect it.

dude has been holding it down for the chicago sun-times since 1967. before your favorite reviewers were learning how to count up to four with sony betamax, ebert was putting down much time in the game.

he won the first ever pulitizer-prize for film criticism (1975.) just eight years into the business the boy eazy e-bert was counting his stacks with plaques and pendants in glorious cinemascope.

the greatest of all-time must have versatility, must be able to praise and pan a film with equal grace.

North (1994):

I have no idea why Rob Reiner, or anyone else, wanted to make this story into a movie, and close examination of the film itself is no help. "North" is one of the most unpleasant, contrived, artificial, cloying experiences I've had at the movies. To call it manipulative would be inaccurate; it has an ambition to manipulate, but fails. . .I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it.

Do the Right Thing (1989):
Of course it is confused. Of course it wavers between middle-class values and street values. Of course it is not sure whether it believes in liberal pieties or militancy. Of course some of the characters are sympathetic and others are hateful. And of course some of the likable characters do bad things. Isn't that the way it is in America today? Anyone who walks into this film expecting answers is a dreamer or a fool. But anyone who leaves the movie with more intolerance than they walked in with wasn't paying attention.

so he's got r a n g e, years, obvious skills, and now units:

almost thirty years on television, over 200 stations, highest rated half hour syndicated show, 15 books, 3 screenplays, and reviews that reach over 250 newspapers.

also, ebert has rejuvenated and popularized the art of "cinema interruptus." for over thirty years, he has made a trip to the university of colorado for a five-day, 12-hour, shot-by-shot look at one particular film. ao scott doesn't have the balls to try and dissect "mullholland drive" like that or deal with "fight club" that frequently. the man is unbreakable.

the "ebertfest of overlooked films" of illinois was another idea of this modern marvel, where he gathers thousands of cinemaphiles for a festival of the unappreciated.

now the haters, even invading this holy ground of "reviews", have claimed the notorious r.hyde has gone soft. they say he has been too lenient on "gigli" and the lot, but consider this a strong example of his independence. he is a trailblazer, a maverick, and not a rat jumping on the bandwagon. even still, look at these recent daggers:

Spy Kids 3-D:As a way of looking at a movie, 3-D sucks, always has, maybe always will.

Bad Boys 2:There was once a time when a hero would sacrifice his own life rather than injure innocent bystanders. No longer. The heroes of "Bad Boys II" are egotistical monsters, concerned only with their power, their one-liners, their weapons, their cars, their desires. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that characters who wipe out a village can also make cruel jokes at the expense of a kid on his first date. Everybody involved in this project needs to do some community service.

Boat Trip:"Boat Trip" arrives preceded by publicity saying many homosexuals have been outraged by the film. Now that it's in theaters, everybody else has a chance to join them. Not that the film is outrageous. That would be asking too much. It is dim-witted, unfunny, too shallow to be offensive, and way too conventional to use all of those people standing around in the background wearing leather and chains and waiting hopefully for their cues. This is a movie made for nobody, about nothing.

still think the man is weak? some will say rakim left eric b. and "the master" disappointed. but you take your james berardinellis and joe baltakes and i'll still be rocking the first paragraph of "moonstruck" on constant rotation.

cultural influence? man has his right thumb trademarked and has become a part of the country's vernacular.

you can have stanley kauffmann or andrew sarris or pauline kael or leaonard maltin (hack), but give me the big man roger ebert.

give me the greatest of all-time.