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Subject: "Love Their Sons, Raise their Daughters" This topic is locked.
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M2
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10072 posts
Tue Mar-05-02 07:41 PM

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"Love Their Sons, Raise their Daughters"


          

I was talking with someone a couple of weeks ago, who made the following comment:

Black People Love their sons and raise their daughters.

In other words, when a son is born that son is unconditionally loved, the bad things he does are accepted as "unfortunately faults" and no one really teaches him how to be a man/adult and carve out a life for himself.

The girl on the other hand, will catch hell for the bad things she does, BUT she is taught how to be a woman/adult and how to go out in the world and carve out a life for herself.

At first thought, it sounds ridiculous right? Well, that's what I thought at least.....until I started noticing somethings in my family and in other Black families.

A few examples:

The son knocks up his girlfriend, they start fighting soon after, son leaves town. He shows up for the birth, leaves 3 days later....over the next 18 months he sends money/support for the kid once.....family members still talk about it. His child is growing up and has never seen her father. People in the family blame the woman for driving the man away, say she got pregnant on purpose, that she's a ho. If you talk about the Son, well, he needed to leave because of the girl, he needed to leave because he needs to get his "shit together", etc.

Sound familiar?

Daughter gets knocked up and almost/does get thrown out of the house. She gets bad mouthed for being a "Ho", it's all because she didn't X, listen to Aunt So and So, shouldn't have been runnin with shaun and them, etc.

If she leaves town and leaves the kid with the Daddy, oh lord...she'll get disowned.

Another Example:

Who is more likely to have the following:

Stable Bank Account
Credit Cards
Their own Car
Their own place
Go to college
Have good credit
A job

The daugthers or the sons?

Secondly, what is the family's reaction to the son when he's not doing well vs. the reaction to the daughter?

How about spousal abuse? I've personally witnessed situations when the family blamed the woman, and/or said that it's a good thing so and so left his family, because she would've driven him to hit her. As if it's his fault.

Simple Arguments: Woman yells at man for not facing up to this responsibilities with his family and other family members chide her for not respecting "The Baby's Daddy" even though the man hasn't done shit to earn anyone's respect.

It seems to me that Black men receive too much protection and "excuses" from other Blacks.....at the detriment to the man receiving the protection and to the community as a whole.

In any event, as a Black man I'm not going to kid myself and say that society isn't more friendly to Black women then it is to Black men, because that's not true.

BUT, on a family level at least, it seems that sons receive less guidance and more forgiveness, perhaps that should be flipped.


Your thoughts?






Peace,








M2












The Blog: http://www.analyticalwealth.com/

An assassin’s life is never easy. Still, it beats being an assassin’s target.

Enjoy your money, but live below your means, lest you become a 70-yr old Wal-Mart Greeter.

  

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Love Their Sons, Raise their Daughters [View all] , M2, Tue Mar-05-02 07:41 PM
 
Subject Author Message Date ID
not to post jack
Mar 05th 2002
1
However....
Mar 05th 2002
3
RE: However....
Keyser
Mar 08th 2002
78
asian patriarchy...
Mar 08th 2002
89
Not the same thing
Mar 06th 2002
4
agreeing w/ M2 and Solarus
Mar 06th 2002
22
Opinion
Mar 05th 2002
2
RE: Opinion
Mar 06th 2002
8
It shouldn't be flipped
Mar 06th 2002
5
RE: Love Their Sons, Raise their Daughters
Mar 06th 2002
6
There are always exceptions
Mar 06th 2002
7
i agree...
Mar 06th 2002
9
RE: i agree...
Mar 08th 2002
83
Because of Slavery
Mar 06th 2002
10
that's a lie.
Mar 06th 2002
13
RE: that's a lie.
Mar 06th 2002
16
The 60's.
Mar 06th 2002
19
      Does this mean
Mar 06th 2002
25
      Doesn't matter
Mar 06th 2002
28
           Does matter
Mar 06th 2002
45
                Lesbianism?
Mar 06th 2002
46
                RE: Lesbianism?
Mar 07th 2002
54
                     strong statement.
Mar 07th 2002
59
                     RE: strong statement.
Mar 07th 2002
68
                     RE: Lesbianism?
Mar 07th 2002
63
                RE: Does matter
Mar 07th 2002
53
                     Intertwined???
Mar 07th 2002
55
                     Once again...
Mar 07th 2002
58
                          Poor/ Low Income White People....
Mar 07th 2002
64
                          perception is reality...
Mar 07th 2002
65
                          Just proves my point
Mar 07th 2002
66
                               RE: Just proves my point
Mar 07th 2002
67
                                    RE: Just proves my point
Mar 07th 2002
69
                                         RE: Just proves my point
Mar 07th 2002
71
                                              RE: Just proves my point
Mar 07th 2002
72
                                              RE: Just proves my point
Mar 07th 2002
74
                                                   RE: Just proves my point
Mar 07th 2002
76
                                                        RE: Just proves my point
Mar 08th 2002
87
                                              RE: Just proves...cont.
Mar 07th 2002
75
                                              RE: Just proves...cont.
Mar 08th 2002
86
                                                   RE: Just proves...cont.
Mar 08th 2002
90
                                                        RE: Just proves...cont.
Mar 08th 2002
91
                                              interesting point...
Mar 08th 2002
80
                     RE: Does matter
Mar 08th 2002
84
                          Ghetto=Black?
Mar 08th 2002
85
      to follow up on Cre8's statement
Mar 06th 2002
27
           the problem...
Mar 06th 2002
29
Hmmm. You're suspect.
Mar 06th 2002
17
suspect of what?
Mar 06th 2002
18
During Slave Times...
Mar 06th 2002
33
      RE: During Slave Times...
Mar 06th 2002
35
           RE: During Slave Times...
Mar 06th 2002
41
           The Truth.
Mar 07th 2002
60
                RE: The Truth.
Mar 07th 2002
62
                     RE: The Truth.
Mar 07th 2002
70
                          RE: The Truth.
Mar 07th 2002
73
           RE: During Slave Times...
Mar 06th 2002
48
                RE: During Slave Times...
Mar 07th 2002
61
Post #21
Mar 06th 2002
23
RE: Love Their Sons, Raise their Daughters
Mar 06th 2002
11
this needs to be taken care of
Mar 06th 2002
24
you have a point...
Mar 06th 2002
12
Sad Truth
Mar 06th 2002
14
RE: Love Their Sons, Raise their Daughters
Mar 06th 2002
15
Fortitude, Brotherhood & Honor...
Mar 06th 2002
20
Another sad thing
Mar 06th 2002
21
most detrimental to ANY child
Mar 06th 2002
26
RE: Love Their Sons, Raise their Daughters
Mar 06th 2002
30
RE: Love Their Sons, Raise their Daughters
Mar 06th 2002
31
RE: Love Their Sons, Raise their Daughters
Mar 06th 2002
32
      umm
Mar 06th 2002
42
      RE: Love Their Sons, Raise their Daughters
Mar 06th 2002
47
RE: Love Their Sons, Raise their Daughters
Mar 06th 2002
34
RE: Love Their Sons, Raise their Daughters
Mar 06th 2002
36
Its a ILL situation
Mar 06th 2002
40
starts when they're young
Mar 06th 2002
37
Read posts 3 & 4
Mar 06th 2002
39
      sons aren't raised
Mar 06th 2002
43
Mother's raising Sons
Mar 06th 2002
38
I agree totally
Mar 06th 2002
44
Qualms with the statement
Mar 06th 2002
49
RE: Mother's raising Sons
Keyser
Mar 08th 2002
79
Bullshit
Mar 08th 2002
82
that is the fuckin TRUTH
Mar 08th 2002
81
Manhood classes
Mar 06th 2002
50
Good suggestion
Mar 07th 2002
51
RE: Manhood classes
Mar 07th 2002
56
RE: AFRICAN'S
Mar 07th 2002
52
RE...
Mar 07th 2002
57
RE: Love Their Sons, Raise their Daughters
Keyser
Mar 08th 2002
77
IN YOUR FAMILY
Mar 08th 2002
88

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