>1. Do we REALLY need a man, if we are financially stable, >have our own homes, already have children(or don't want any), >and I guess know how to go to Rite Aid for batteries when need >be? LOL!
I think a logical male perspective comes in handy, but no, history has proven that a woman can survive and even thrive without a man.
>2. Polygamy: should we stop "fakin' the funk", w/ all these >babydaddies, and sleepin' around w/ other people's husbands, >etc., and just say 'F*** it, we just need to go on and become >a polygamous society w/in a monagamous society-at-large'? & if >we let Brothahs do this, do you think they could handle >it(financially, emotionally & Spiritually w/o letting that Ego >run amuck)?
No, because the manner in which men sleep with other women and make babies with ZERO accountability is the problem. Most men who do this can't take care of the first child and woman, let alone additional women and children, and the carelessness in which they engage in sexual acts in general.
>3. MRS vs MS degree: is it a "worthy sacrifice" to focus on >obtaining education, career, getting your business started(or >whatever the case may be), BEFORE pursuing marriage(or >otherwise committed relationship), or possibly, at the expense >of?
I know of people who marry before they go to school, finish school, start a career, then start a family. If you marry someone who wants a family, and respects your career as you do, then there should be no issues concerning this. If this is important to you then it should be discussed in detail and agreed upon before making any marriage vows.
>4. OTHERS: IF it's really true that there is a shortage of >marriagable Brothahs statistically(due to the down-low<the >estimates are as high as 80% of African-American men engage in >this behavior, btw>, outright homosexuality, eternal >bachelorhood, into white women, in jail, on drugs, >blah-zay,blah-zay, blah-zay, you know the drill...), then >should we look to other types/races/ethnicities of men? If >not, then what is the solution?
Just look for a good man, period. Know where to look and be smart about it. The club is not the place. Try the museum, or the computer convention or an independant film festival or book fair. You may not find gold, but you are sure to avoid the gold plate!
>5. I worked in Kenya in '02, where it is believed that a >female does not become a woman until she gives birth. Agreed, >or disagreed? >
The menses is the marker for womanhood. A woman is able to bear children at the onset. She also developes more "mature" feelings at this time. There are so many teens who are treated as children and rebel becuase thier growth is not acknowledged. They become adults overnight and are given adult responsibilities over night, leading to a lot of problems.
>I'm sure there are other ponderings(Blackwomyn's issues) that >we should/could discuss/consider that I have not thought of, >w/ respect to our unique needs, in our community, that pertain >to, and effect, for the most part, us. Go ahead and add 'em >in, and see what we can come up w/.
Sisters are doing it for themselves, but not for thier kids, especially the boys. Most men in jail did not have a decent male role model to go to(women in jail as well). Many have been abused and exposed to things they should not have been as children. We may not need men, but our children do and there is no way around it. It takes two for a reason.
In the meantime though, I think that women and Black women specifically should support each other and work together more often. I think that they should try to rotate dinners at the others homes(buying in bulk saves a lot of loot), and even try to get a sister a job at the same place and carpool. Save your extra dollars, pay of your debt(if you have it), research good credit(if you need it) and what it takes to have your own home or business or get you kids into college(if you want it). Or homeschool in the hood to better prepare our kids to work and think independantly when they go out on thier own.