...as white women That we have two strikes against us That we're angry, bitter, desperate That we are not worthy of a good man
I've heard all of these through the years. But I was raised by independent, divorced, Black woman who was a college graduate and a computer programmer (day job). Believe me this made a difference for me and for my sister.
>1. Do we REALLY need a man, if we are financially stable, >have our own homes, already have children(or don't want any),
Not really but I like men, in general. I like when they respect me. I was walking down a dark street in the 'hood yesterday and a bunch of young Black men were walking in my direction. One guy made eye contact and said, "How are you doing, maam?" Little things like that make me happy...and that's a shame. Another took his hat off when I said hello.
>and I guess know how to go to Rite Aid for batteries when need >be? LOL!
If we must we must!
>2. Polygamy: should we stop "fakin' the funk", w/ all these >babydaddies, and sleepin' around w/ other people's husbands, >etc., and just say 'F*** it, we just need to go on and become >a polygamous society w/in a monagamous society-at-large'? & if >we let Brothahs do this, do you think they could handle >it(financially, emotionally & Spiritually w/o letting that Ego >run amuck)?
I refuse to be a single mother...not starting out. This determination helps me make the choices I make in love (or lust). Personally, if playas had to be responsible for all of their actions such as pay something for each and every baby they make or wifey they hook (including mistresses) then we would not have a problem.
>3. MRS vs MS degree: is it a "worthy sacrifice" to focus on >obtaining education, career, getting your business started(or >whatever the case may be), BEFORE pursuing marriage(or >otherwise committed relationship), or possibly, at the expense >of?
I was just talking about this with another woman of color/co-worker who wanted to know how I fit so many things into my week...and still have time to make art and learn how to use new technologies. I reminded her that I was not married and she had to admit that dealing with her husband and her family took up most of her time. The only problem with this is that there are projects she feels she needs to do to stay on top of the game but she can't do because of her commitments. That's a non-issue for me. I would be willing to drop some of my projects if I found someone I really wanted to be with but until then I enjoy the work.
>4. OTHERS: IF it's really true that there is a shortage of >marriagable Brothahs statistically(due to the down-low<the >estimates are as high as 80% of African-American men engage in >this behavior, btw>, outright homosexuality, eternal >bachelorhood, into white women, in jail, on drugs, >blah-zay,blah-zay, blah-zay, you know the drill...), then >should we look to other types/races/ethnicities of men?
I love Black men but I do not feel pressured to get with a Black man. Since I am not really looking for a mate right now I don't really know if there is a shortage or not.
>5. I worked in Kenya in '02, where it is believed that a >female does not become a woman until she gives birth. Agreed, >or disagreed?
When a girl has her period she becomes a woman...biologically. Whatever the norms and mores are of her society determine her place in it as a female. In our society motherhood is not necessary to be a woman