When I was 12 I decided to end it all if I did not find my purpose. A decade later I turned a dream into a vision with a mounting student loan debt (my parents would not support me after age 17) and more debt coming. I decided to go to grad school. Somewhere along the way to now I found this:
"Whenever you feel a negative emotion, recognize that your Guidance System, from within, is telling you two very important things: First there is something you want! Otherwise you wouldnít be feeling any emotion. Second, you are not looking at what you want, but in the opposite direction."
Some call this "manifesting your destiny" and some personal coaches ask these three questions: 1) What have you accomplished? 2) What have you learned? 3) Where do you want to be and what is keeping you from getting there?
For me it started with "Why?" At age 12, I had straight As in school, high test scores and was expected to be a doctor or something my family thought would be "successful". It happens to most people. There was no pressure but people just assumed things about me. I knew that I wanted something but whatever it was did not meet the expectation.
"So often, we are asked the question, "Why am I here?" So many physical beings do not understand why they exist, and even though many answers have been offered, including such things as, "You are here, being tested, to prove yourselves worthy of a happy existence after this physical life or you are an accidental product of physical mass coming together," we would like to offer a further explanation:
YOU ARE THE CREATORS! NOT GATHERERS OF THINGS OR RELATIONSHIPS. NOT REGURGITATORS OF EXPERIENCES LIVED BY OTHERS! You have very specifically chosen this time and this place and this dimension for the deliberate application of Universal Laws. In short, you wanted to be here upon the earth, in this physical body, at this time, to enjoy the deliciousness of creating."
When I was 17 I enrolled myself in a job training course that promised to give me a summer job when I graduated. I did everything I was told and went in confident that I would get this job. After I showed my portfolio, I was told that I was overqualified. Overqualified?! It was my first job interview...ever! So I walked out of there, took off my navy blue suit and heels and never wore a suit or heels again. I was trained, dressed for success and still no job (and those people were under contract to hire program grads).
I learned the lesson of pivoting right there and then. I enjoyed my summer and went off to art college determined to find my own path...with no support.
"Most physical beings have no idea that they are the absolute creator of their own experience. They have followed the lead of those who have gone before in giving credit or blame to any number of other people, institutions and so on. However, a very large sector of the population of the planet are becoming increasingly aware that they do influence their experience through thought or attitude.
In witnessing those who have decided to become deliberate in their creating, we have noticed a common occurrence. There is a propensity toward always looking toward a brighter future. "When I get that job, life will be better." "Once I find my true love, then I will be happy." "Once I get rid of these extra pounds, I will by happy." and so on. While we are pleased that you are looking toward a deliberate happy future, you are missing the point.
You are here to bring yourselves to a joyful state of being, moment by moment, day by day, as you chew upon the data of life. As you stand in your now, aware of where you want to be, or even aware of where you are going, your tendency is to note the lack of where you are. As you contrast now with future success, what you usually are FEELING is the pain of the LACK of the now. AND AS YOU FEEL THE LACK OF THE NOW, YOUR NOW WILL REMAIN UNCHANGED.
Grasp the concept of BECOMING. Not unhappy now. Not unfulfilled now, while upon a journey that will later lead to more happiness, or more success---but a free, joyous, growing being continuing upon your path of creativity. There is not much that we could offer to you that would be of more value to you, as deliberate creators, than an understanding of being in a state of joyous becoming."