There are two extremes of "nigger" usage and some gray areas in between. I have seen a white "cracker" from Kentucky say the word with spit and hatred coming out of her mouth and I have seen the look of love pass between two "brothas" greeting each other with that word. I have seen white, asian and latino people use that word when talking amongst each other.
Nigger, nigga, nigra are words that have power. The existence of this word means one thing to me. We are not free, as a people, yet. We are still society's burden, the Man's burden. We are struggling with who we are, how and why we got here. We are caught up in words rather than actions, perceptions rather than reality.
Personally, I accept the word just like I accept that we are not free and there are double standards that remind us of the reason we are the extreme of white. If a white person called me or any other black person a nigger I would not be surprised. I have never been called a nigger but I see the negative intent and shadow of the word on some white people's mouths.
People perceive that nigger means more than it is. The word exists to remind us of where we came from and where we are going. If someone called my child a pickaninny, it would have the same effect. When we get free we will have no need to justify the symbol that is nigger. Until then we will continue to struggle with it.
"No matter who you are or what your age may be, if you want to achieve permanent, sustaining success, the motivation that will drive you toward that goal must come from within." - Ultramagnetic MCs