Why Do Black Men Choose
White Women?
©1998/1999 Rosie Milligan, Ph.D


Do Black men perceive White women as more beautiful, sensuous, and submissive than Black women? What impact did the nightmare of slavery have on the Black woman regarding her attitude towards her body and sex? An excerpt from the book...


I want to make it understood that I am not against interracial marriages; everyone should have the right to choose his or her own soul mate. But we are in great need of examining the reasons why Black men are choosing White women...

Let's first examine the Black woman. To understand the present condition of any sex or race, the past condition or history must be examined and understood. Black men have no standard to measure the African American woman other than the European standards. All men must realize that the Black woman has a unique perspective; she has a background and history of her own that is far different from those of women of other ethnic groups.

Many loving relationships have been ruined between Black women and their men because of a lack of knowledge about the Black woman's history. The relationship between White men and Black women were the major factors in creating the brain damage the Black man has today for the White woman.

Black women do not embrace their sexuality as freely and honestly as other women. This is due to her being made to feel ashamed of her body, and due to her history of rape at a very early age. Many White men had their very first (and best) sexual encounters with a Black woman, so that they could keep their own women pure and unspoiled until marriage. They raped the young black female, usually by the age of 13.

I was told by the elders that when the White men entered a Black man's cabin, the Black man was made to leave the cabin or was made to stay and watch. I was told that when the White men finished he would pat the Black man on the head while leaving and the Black man would say "Massa, I hope you liked it." The White man would respond, "Yes, good pussy boy," as he went home to his innocent sleeping beauty. Thus, since White women were not labeled sexually promiscuous savages, they do not come under the scrutiny for their sexual appetites or behavior that Black women do.

A Black woman's sexual experiences, the social setting in which she was reared, her physical capabilities, religious background, and upbringing all have a strong impact and influence on how she genuinely feels about sex; how much she enjoys sex; her willingness to explore various positions an exotic practices during sex. Obviously, the Black woman is still haunted by the effects of slavery on her sexuality. As we approach the new millennium, 135 years post Emancipation Proclamation, Black girls and Black women are still the most frequent victims of rape and assault.

What does all this have to do with Black men choosing White women?

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, one out of every 20 marriages is interracial. There were to 246,000 Blacks married to Whites in this country last year, almost four times the number in 1970. According to statistics, the number of Black men that are married to White women far outnumber any and all other cross-cultural marriages.

The White woman has for years been portrayed as the very essence of beauty and the epitome of all that is good. America has done a great job of selling the White woman. It is not just the Black man who feels his self-esteem heightened by having her. Alternatively, the Black woman has been portrayed very negatively in the media. Only recently having seen her passionately making love. You have seen her raped, abused, and offering to perform oral sex for drugs. The Black woman has been given such titles as gold digger, male basher, sapphire, and bitch.

Girls and women who are victims of physical and sexual abuse have difficulty in the areas of sensuality and sexual intimacy. Yet, Black females continue to search for love and Black men to search for sex. In their quest for love, women get sex and a baby and left alone. Black women want to be loved, not sexed. Black women want their men to come home and help them formulate a definition of Black man and Black woman that works for them. The Black man needs sex as a means of determining his self worth, and the Black woman because of her history, is afraid of it. These differences make communication between the Black male and female on sexual issues very difficult.

Is sex that important to a Black man? Sex is one of the most sought after experiences, and (besides money), is the only factor in our civilized societies that people pursue at the risk of causing harm to themselves. Sex is the only form of gratification within reach for the economically deprived male. He cannot take a weekend cruise. He cannot hide away in his yacht at sea. He finds himself trying to crawl back into the uterus for comfort via the warm vagina. The vagina become the hideout for Black men seeking to escape the woes of life's challenges.

Additionally, many Black men were encouraged as boys by their fathers and friends to "get you some White pussy, man!" I remember hearing men who lived in the South asking man who visited the North, "man, did you get you some White pussy?"

A Black man like any other man, wants the best that life has to offer, and for many Black men that means having a White woman. The best looking by European standards. The best sex -- as they have seen in pornographic movies and magazines for years. A push over -- the White woman is said to be very submissive to the Black man. Some believe that the White woman may be submissive to the Black man because he treats her the way that she has been portrayed, as a precious stone, a royal queen, and a Virgin Mary (once she gets out of bed).

Many reasons have been given as to why Black men cross the color line. I have heard and read reasons as simple as "opposites attract" to "the Black man wants to get revenge." I believe that after reading this entire book, you truly understand the Black man's relationship with the Black woman and why he chooses the White woman.

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