> i understand >- but it's independant of my marriage. Meaning that it's a >condition that exists separately, and would persist even if >we weren't together. So I'm not sure I understand... just >help me connect the dots.
Since marriage is such a hot topic as of late I think there are a lot of expectations that come with who you are married to and some of that is political (status, civil rights, etc.). That's why some people still go for arranged marriages. It has to do with family and community, as well as what happens behind closed doors. Even though my mother married a Black man, her family thought she'd married beneath her. After they had divorced he talked to me often of his treatment by her family and he told me that had some affect on their relationship. Marriage often has quite an effect on relationships with loved ones and community folks outside the marriage. Some folks don't care but Black people are on that other side of the divide, in general and there is a lot of pain there as it relates to accepting white folks within the gates.
>And no, at 17 I was largely emancipated as well. Ten years >later, I am a very different person and much more mature. My >expectations and how I interact are... different. I don't >know how else to say it.
Well, I am a lot more self-assured and mature than when I was 17 but I am still very aware of race even when I shouldn't be. It's about the skin I am in as well as what I identify with.