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Subject: "Here I go." This topic is locked.
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HotThyng76
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Tue Dec-12-00 11:53 AM

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38. "Here I go."
In response to In response to 0


  

          

When I was a boy, I did some time as a seriously devout Christian. I read most of the Bible, went to church regularly, tried to live right...alla dat. Everything was basically w/me and "God" until I was a sophomore in high school. That was when the latent sexual thoughts I had about men for as long as I can remember started to become explicit. I was definitely NOT under anyone's influence nor was I being recruited. The thoughts/feelings were coming from within. But I'd learned in my church that homosexuality is a sin. So I didn't believe it was really happening to me - I couldn't conceive of being gay cuz it was so far outside of "God's graces". Well, the feelings/thoughts became increasingly difficult to ignore and all sources were telling me I was gonna end up in hell if I didn't do something. So I did what any good Christian would do...I prayed about it. I prayed and prayed and prayed...I mean I FELL ON MY FACE IN PRAYER...("Lord take this cup from me")...this went on for a good year or so. I never heard an answer.

In my Jr. year, while all this was going on, I was studying the history of the Christian church in school and I learned many things that disturbed me. I was particularly disturbed by the editing of the Bible that occured in about 400AD or so. All of a sudden, I wasn't so sure that everything in the Bible was God's word. That thought blew my head. I started to question everything I'd ever learned as far as my religious beliefs were concerned. My church had me believing I was destined for hell not just b/c of the gay thing, but b/c I listened to secular music too. I knew that was bullshit. I did much soul searching over the course of the next 3 years. I don't remember when it happened, but somewhere in there I finally got my answer. The answer came in the form of supreme peace. It washed over me. To me it meant that whoever God is, God is fine with who I am and I shouldn't allow ppl to make me feel all conflicted about "my soul".

I no longer believe that the Christian concept of God is "correct". I should say, correct for me. I definitely DO NOT believe JC is the ONLY way to access God. There several other paths. I also don't believe in Satan. I believe Satan is a construct of Church leaders, actually. Anyway...I said all that to say as a gay man, I'm not worried about what the Bible says about who I love. If God created us, he created me this way. I don't believe in Heaven and Hell, so the thought of damnation isn't a factor for me.

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Gays & Hell [View all] , kimmie_j, Mon Dec-04-00 08:40 AM
 
Subject Author Message Date ID
RE: Gays & Hell
Dec 04th 2000
1
RE: Gays & Hell
Dec 04th 2000
2
      RE: Gays & Hell
mango_child
Jan 29th 2001
110
Read "your" Bible logically
Wise_7
Dec 04th 2000
3
RE: Read "your" Bible logically
Dec 04th 2000
4
Queer as folk
Dec 04th 2000
5
      Queer as folk: Episode 2
Dec 04th 2000
7
      RE: Queer as folk
Dec 14th 2000
47
           For your info..
Dec 15th 2000
60
                who are you? Dr. York? n/m
Isa_Sabur
Jan 18th 2001
99
                It's Psalm 46:3, 9
Dulce478
Jan 23rd 2001
104
RE: Read "your" Bible logically
Dec 04th 2000
6
RE: Read "your" Bible logically
Quinn
Dec 04th 2000
10
Thank-you..
DELTA1393
Dec 05th 2000
13
Sodom & Gomorrah
Dec 12th 2000
39
      RE: Sodom & Gomorrah
Dec 13th 2000
40
      I Samuel 18 & 20
Dec 13th 2000
41
           RE: I Samuel 18 & 20
Dec 13th 2000
43
           LOL
Dec 13th 2000
45
                RE: LOL
Dec 15th 2000
58
                     RE: LOL
Dec 15th 2000
59
                          RE: LOL
Dec 18th 2000
76
                               Not that simple
Dec 18th 2000
78
           RE: I Samuel 18 & 20
Dec 13th 2000
44
      RE: Sodom & Gomorrah
Dec 13th 2000
42
      RE: Sodom & Gomorrah
Dyskotek
Jan 24th 2001
105
           Rome & Greece allowed to exist?
Jan 24th 2001
107
           hmm.....
Jan 24th 2001
108
                Good point.
Jan 25th 2001
109
oh yeah.....
Dec 04th 2000
8
RE: oh yeah.....
Dec 16th 2000
67
RE: oh yeah.....
Dec 25th 2000
84
Not tough love....
Dyskotek
Jan 24th 2001
106
RE: Read
derby
Dec 17th 2000
71
RE: Read "your" Bible logically
Jan 06th 2001
88
RE: Gays & Hell
Dec 04th 2000
9
RE: God Janey
Dec 04th 2000
11
I accept
Dec 05th 2000
17
what about those....
Dec 05th 2000
14
Thanks for making me clarify
Dec 05th 2000
16
RE: Gays & Hell
Q5
Dec 08th 2000
32
RE: Gays & Hell
Dec 15th 2000
55
Jerusalem Bible
Dec 15th 2000
57
      RE: Jerusalem Bible
Dec 16th 2000
65
           Thanks
Dec 18th 2000
75
Who's the real sinner?
Dec 15th 2000
56
If they're saved..
DELTA1393
Dec 05th 2000
12
There are no BIG sins &
Dec 05th 2000
15
Darlin,
Dec 05th 2000
19
Well, then let me explain
Dec 05th 2000
20
      See,
Dec 05th 2000
22
Yep!
DELTA1393
Dec 05th 2000
23
JUMPING IN MAD LATE...
Dec 14th 2000
46
      RE: JUMPING IN MAD LATE...
DELTA1393
Dec 20th 2000
82
           you didn't read the post..
Jan 15th 2001
90
                Fornication is not His preference, either..
DELTA1393
Jan 18th 2001
98
                     but if it wasn't...
Jan 23rd 2001
103
Most religious texts were...
Dec 05th 2000
18
Right, but
Dec 05th 2000
21
      RE: Right, but
Dec 05th 2000
24
           RE: Right, but
Dec 05th 2000
25
           RE: Right, but
Dec 05th 2000
26
                Agreed
Dec 05th 2000
27
                RE: Agreed
Dec 05th 2000
28
                     That's a hard one
Dec 05th 2000
29
                          Hair splitter!
Dec 05th 2000
30
                               No, no
Dec 05th 2000
31
                good point, Kimmie_j
Dec 15th 2000
49
RE: Gays & Hell
Marinera
Dec 09th 2000
33
RE: Gays & Hell
Synsethius
Dec 09th 2000
34
RE: Gays & Hell
Dec 10th 2000
35
RE: Gays & Hell
phizzdat
Dec 12th 2000
36
so much in the head
d-Best
Dec 12th 2000
37
right on...n/m
Dec 15th 2000
52
HotThyng76
stanwooh
Dec 15th 2000
53
      Stanwooh
Dec 15th 2000
54
Something to think about
Dec 14th 2000
48
OH GOD,OLU!!!
Dec 15th 2000
50
LOL
Dec 16th 2000
68
RE: Something to think about
Tex
Jan 06th 2001
89
my two cents
Dec 15th 2000
51
RE: Gays & Hell
tressy
Dec 15th 2000
61
Every word of tressy's post.........
Jan 15th 2001
91
Mental Masturbation
Dec 15th 2000
62
Yeah, im a sissy...
Dec 15th 2000
63
Hey Juba!
Dec 16th 2000
64
RE: Mental Masturbation
Dec 16th 2000
69
God is love!!!
Dec 16th 2000
66
YOU BETTA PREACH, BROWNSUGAR!!!
Jan 16th 2001
93
RE: Gays & Hell
derby
Dec 17th 2000
70
RE: Gays & Hell
SheRise
Dec 17th 2000
72
What I'm wonderin
Dec 18th 2000
73
RE: What I'm wonderin
Dec 18th 2000
74
      Well,
Dec 18th 2000
77
RE: Gays & Hell
Dec 18th 2000
79
sodom and gomorah
Dec 18th 2000
80
RE: sodom and gomorah
Mike Rothbaum
Dec 29th 2000
87
YES!
Omari
Dec 19th 2000
81
black omniverse
Dec 20th 2000
83
      RE: Lmao!!!!
monstaz
Dec 26th 2000
85
RE: Gays & Hell
orangecrush13
Dec 28th 2000
86
for pointfivefag~
Jan 16th 2001
92
poem is hot, Tahji! :)n/m
Jan 16th 2001
94
That was cool
Jan 16th 2001
95
RE: That was cool
Jan 16th 2001
96
WOW.
Jan 17th 2001
97
go 'head Rude n/m
Jan 19th 2001
100
Okay........
insomnia
Jan 23rd 2001
101
RE: Okay........
Jan 23rd 2001
102

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