“suicide manifesto”


i will begin hanging my grits up on clotheslines, b/c they are all too
hot for me to hold in my mouth,
i will begin vomiting life &
i will make myself bulimic.
white women arent the only ones who kill themselves.
asian women want to die too.

i am giving buddha back his belly, and my mother back her garden, my
temple is no longer familiar to me, and im navigating new courses to
true love, or a quick death whichsoever happens first.
too many blk gyrls want to die.
they want to take pills
they want to open their wrists to the kewlness
of metals that wld otherwise poison them.

sum blk gyrls get tetanus shots in vain.
blk womyn are suicidal too.

sum blk womyn do not enjoy giving head.
sum blk gyrls do not like being on their knees.
sum of us dont believe in prayer anymore.
blk gyrls dont cry loud enuff for others to hear.
sum blk womyn do not want to be resuscitated.
tampons are not contoured to fit the blk body
sum of us will scream in the sanitary napkins aisle
sum of us will be late to work
sum of us
can not check out in the express lane
we will have had went over the limit
buying twenty-two boxes of tampons
until we find one that fits.
sum of us will have emotional breakdowns
b/c of a panty liner.

blk gyrls can not buy jeans w/ the hips built in.
sum blk womyn dont have hips, sum blk womyn are
flat
and dry
and flaky
and crumble.
sumtimes blk gyrls fall apart.
sum blk womyn do not know what to make for dinner.

blk womyn will kill themselves over creamed corn
or sweet peas.
life dont roll as sweet as peas.
sum blk womyn dont eat.
sum blk gyrls will only stomach kool-aid and pork n beans.
sum will die b/c they dont know how to use a can opener.
sum blk womyn will lock themselves out of their homes
accidentally. they will sit in their cars and wait. sum blk womyn
will cry. they will turn their ignitions on, sum blk gyrls will drive
off the bridge

others will jump off it.

not all blk womyn want to be mothers.
not all blk womyn eat fried chicken.
sum blk gyrls do not cut their split ends
sum
just cut
their ends.

sum blk womyn have died, but continue to live.
sum blk gyrls are scared of their dark.

white women arent the only women who want to kill themselves.
latina womyn want to die too.

sum of us are going to burn the grits.
sum blk gyrls will wait for ntozake
to hand em rainbows

sum blk womyn cant see the sun


blk womyn kill themselves too.

sumtimes
nuthin is enuff.





"God is..She's like a motherly
Che Guevara, benevolent,
like 6 feet tall with dreadlocks,
a big machine gun and a
beautiful laugh... maybe."

~ okp DJ Scratch n Sniff

i just want chu to know
how i feel
how i feel