When I was seven, I lived in the "projects", a low-income housing development. I was social and I was often pressured to engage in play sex. We called it "clothes burning" and we rubbed a lot but that was all our bodies could do. In fact, there were plenty of opportunities to engage in play sex. A year later I was back in the 'burbs and some middle-class kids were doing the same thing but on the down low & less frequent.

For many folks sex feels good and even when it doesn't it is often a welcome distraction...it's an escape from painful experiences. The stronger these emotions are, the more people are unable to effectively deal with these feelings, the stronger the obsession with sex. I've read that addictive sexual attraction often masks feelings of inadequacy, low self esteem, and a lack of perceived control. Addicitve sex signals a craving for meaning, purpose, and value.

Despite peer pressure, I waited until college to have sex. In fact, a woman/single mother who had her share of kids and lived in the same projects I once lived in told me never to have sex. "It'll ruin your life."

Also, I discovered that my peers in the 'burbs could afford contraceptives and their parents were more willing to talk about sex with them. Quite a few of the older girls knew they could get abortions if the contraceptives didn't work. I remember being part of a group of 5-6 young women co-workers who grew up middle-class/upper middle-class. All of them had at least one abortion and a couple had more than one. I was the only one in the group who had never gotten pregnant. I found that shocking.

In high school I did not engage in real sex because I wanted to go to college, get out of my hometown and start a new life. This was my priority. It was more important than sex. When I was 18, I decided to lose my virginity. I made a bet with my roommate...it was a happening that I had control of and it didn't ruin my life. In retrospect, several of my childhood girl friends got pregnant before high school graduation (a few before junior high school) and none of them were from poor families.

>I've noticed that people living in
>lower class areas tend to
>lose their virginity earlier than
>mddle or upper class areas.
> For example, most of
>my Black and Arab friends
>from "ghettos" lost their virginity
>a long time ago, whereas
>many of my white friends
>lost their virginity this year
>(grade 11) or not yet
>at all. Also I
>saw a statistic that Black
>teenage girls in America were
>more likely (I forgot the
>exact number) than white girls
>to have kids before marriage.
> Does anyone know why
>people living in poorer areas
>have more sex? It
>doen't make sense to me.
>


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"To be as good as someone else is no high ideal...I am myself." - Paul Robeson

"It's quite an experience to live in fear isn't it? That's what it is to be a slave." - Roy in "Blade Runner"

"Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own."
--Paulo Coelho, "The Alchemist"

"There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path"
--Morpheus in "The Matrix" (and a Buddhist philosophy)

"It's our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities"- Dumbledore to Harry Potter "Chamber of Secrets"

<--- Blame this lady for Nutty.