I feel you. I had similar problems with my family because I did not want to do things the way that they saw fit. But there comes a time when you have to decide what is best for you as the person thatyou are; not as a daughter, sister, girlfriend, or even a black woman. This is what I was discussing with ye setshego in the other post. We as black woman have to create our own paths because what society sets out for us is limiting. Our success or failures should not be defined only in relation to Black men; they are our own.
When I first cut off all of my hair my grandmother told me that "Your hair is your beauty and you should not have cut it off because you don't have the face for it." When I decided to leave the church I grew up in and try to explore other religions my mother and I battled over that for months.
Sometimes you just have to say fuck it I am doing what I know is best for me. If I had lived by others opinions and expectations I would not be who I am today. I feel that by taking risks, no matter how big or small we open ourselves to new worlds. I refuse to accept my families limitations and expectations (no matter how well intended they may be), friends, or anyone for that matter.