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>I still have work to do >in this area. I'm not >clear what to do in >all situations when I am >not being treated the way >I feel I deserve to >be treated by a man, >in relationships, and sometimes in >friendships too. Sometimes I feel >like, well, I can't change >the other person, I can >only change me. So what >do I do, stop talking >to EVERYbody???
Once I was talking to an older brutha about relationships. He was my father's age and had MAD issues about women. He was telling me how cool I was but that most women were (blank), (blank)...and I looked at this man who was also an elder/father and I said, "You sound so angry. What did these women do to you?" We talked about how his anger had less to do with the women and more to do with himself.
It helped that I did not take offense. I don't take it personally. I listen and it seems as if men realize that I am trying to understand but leave the anger somewhere else. I won't respond to anger. This worked with my father and it seemed to work with this other guy.
I am not trying to change anyone. I am trying to understand, to listen and make some kind of connection if I can. Men open up to me a lot because I am not trying to change them or correct them or blame them. It took a lot of therapy and healing to be able to go there with men.
I have my father to thank for this. I grew up. I learned to be my own person and not blame him for anything in my life.
"Know thyself"
"Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you or forsake you". So we may boldly say, "The Lord is my helper, I will not fear. What can man do to me?" -- Hebrews 13:5,6
"There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path" --Morpheus in "The Matrix"
"It's our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities"- Dumbledore to Harry Potter "Chamber of Secrets"
<--- Blame this lady for Nutty.
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