My three sisters and I share the same father. I am one of the older two, raised by my mother. I graduated with honors from a top art college in NY and my sister was her high school class' valedictorian and she graduated with honors from an Ivy League university in NYC. We both have our master's degrees.

My other two sisters were raised mostly by our father and both dropped out of high school (never finished), had kids before they were 20 and are involved with drugs. Their mother was in and out of prison and she was an addict. My mother was a college graduate and a computer programmer.

The one thing we all share is our father. We spent most of our young lives either in the shadow or in defiance of our father who was there in a physical sense but unavailable emotionally and unwilling to support our efforts. My sister and I moved on, both of us with different emotional scars and different ways of dealing with his influence.

I have forgiven my father and even allowed him to stay in my home a couple of years ago. We are still estranged but I was able to tell my father how his negative influence affected me and my sister(s). I am also estranged from my younger sisters who spend most of their time on the streets. My father is the reason for that but we have all grown up.

I went to therapy, came to terms with my relationship with "Dad" and let go of any generalizations I have of Black men. However, I will not get involved with men who try to destroy or break me down (won't happen), whether it's my self-esteem or self-image or my peace of mind. I don't even have to worry about it now. I am free of all that.

I only hope my father finds peace...

"Know thyself"

"Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you or forsake you". So we may boldly say, "The Lord is my helper, I will not fear. What can man do to me?"
-- Hebrews 13:5,6

"There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path"
--Morpheus in "The Matrix"

"It's our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities"- Dumbledore to Harry Potter "Chamber of Secrets"

<--- Blame this lady for Nutty.