I feel like we've been through some similar experiences. I'm amazed that you were able to save yourself at such a young age. I'm a male, and my father was there. I think he was/is a relatively good father, because he was much more involved in my life than most of my friends' fathers appeared to be; but he had one major fault: the abuse of my mother. Sometimes I think I would trade everything that made him a good father in exchange for him being a good husband to my mother. You struck a chord in me when you mentioned how you were "asleep" at 12 and how you walked with your head down and shoulders slumped. I was asleep too, but because of my family's reputation in my small hometown, I walked with my head up and stood tall...even though I was a mess inside.
I won't get into my life story too much, but I will say that I was 20 (26 now) and married before I even began to address this issue with myself. So, I'm very proud of and inspired by what you did at the age of 12.