I have been thinking about this as I started it and then put it down again because the moment came and passed. I was waiting on Utamaroho to bring everyone who wanted to read it together in hopes of reading it together...

However, this post turned into... why should _I_ read _Yurugu_ --sacred text of so many "psuedo" OkayAfrikans.

Well, I think I have it.

Until you read _Yurugu_, any work you do as an activist, as a thinker, as anything -- because you are _here_ is proof positive that you are at least somewhat outside of the European matrix -- because you will not understand the conflicting feelings you have -- as a Black American.

Let me be personal.

As I have shared elsewhere, it wasn't until college that I became aware of "something else". Oh, I knew it before, but it was suppressed. But then, it was suddenly in my face -- there. Like my nose or thick lips. It was there and I couldn't understand what I was looking at. I could tell there was a system. There were walls, things you were supposed to do and say, but none of these things made sense. I would find myself going along with them only to renege on them half-way. And what would happen would be that I would burn bridges because I was saying all the "right" things, but then something would kick in and destroy all of that mess because it was wrong to begin with.

I spent years, literally, on some precipice (ms) between what I knew I was supposed to do and what I wanted to do. I was stalled -- unable to do either. When I was a senior in college, I wrote a book for my senior project. My professor wanted to publish it, but I knew better. I knew that I was all gloss and no depth because I wouldn't let that come forth. I wouldn't get into that because I knew it wouldn't be nurtured or cared for. I wanted my mama.

Reading _Yurugu_ provided what I have come to think of as "the frame". Using the frame of _Yurugu_, I am able to understand my life and myself and understand why I thought I was about to lose my fool mind because I kept seeing something, something I couldn't understand, that was supposed to be sane, but it made no sense, and yet, I knew it made no sense, but I was supposed to go along with it, but I didn't want to go along with it because I knew it was toxic and I tend to like to avoid things that are toxic unless I think I can learn something and purge the toxicity from my system later, but this was something else, something deeper, something more profound and I teetered for years, dipping a toe in and pulling it out just as quick. _Yurugu_ was what made me, finally, just walk away.

_Yurugu_ is not about hating white people or even white culture. It is not about hate at all. What _Yurugu_ is about is _demystifying white people and white culture_. I don't care who you are or what you are doing -- whether you profess love or hatred (because both take care) -- we, Americans, and anyone who was colonized by European peoples, we were socialized to rever white folk the way they rever themselves. We were taught to think that there was something special and other-wordly about them. We were taught to think all sorts of things from the best to the worst of them -- but we do not see them in context with our natural selves -- we see them through the film they have laid over our eyes and minds and seeing them thusly, if we are serious about what it is we want to do for ourselves, for our people, we have to learn that their ain't nothing special about them... in fact, in many ways, it is quite the inverse.

1) Read _Yurugu_ for a frame
2) Read _Yurugu_ to demystify European/Euro-American culture.

Read it for yourself and let everyone know what you got out of it. Grieve for that which you feel like you need to grieve for. Learn what it is you need to learn to get through your days and nights without going crazy, without eating up your stomach lining wondering why. Read it because people don't think you will. Read it because you don't care. Read it to upbraid Utamaroho. Read it to find out what "utamaroho" means. Read it just to be able to say, "Yeah, I read _Yurugu_ by Marimba Ani." But read it.

Whether you think you need it or not.
Whether you think you will agree with her (or us) or not.
Whether you think you are too big and bad
too fresh and clean
too whatever.

Read it because it will start you on a new journey.

Peace,

Q



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"americans are gross!" -utamaroho

Uplifting thoughts:

"We are the end result of our ancestors prayers as they died. We you are the sum total of their answered prayers."

"I am because we are; we are because I am."

"falling in love with somebody's soul...their essence their personality their walk their talk the way they speak and smile...no matter what the physical outer body is..male or female...is a temptation i hope i am never foolish enough to resist." - Hot Damali

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"When the revolution comes, "faggots" won't be so funny." - The Last Poets

** Most people mis-read this line. I don't think he is being homophobic. I think he's making sure you folks know, within our communities, those of you who laugh at