dvs, i'll GIT u for this...

LOL

what an amazing challenge. (breathes in)

(breathes out)
phewwww...

let's see if u can feel me:

let's just say i've never DONE this before
but in cubicle 12, in aisle 2, on the twelfth floor
is a cute little white boy named Mike.
yes, sistas, u heard me, i did mention WHITE
but it ain't even like that.
he's just a good guy
he makes me laugh
and he pays so much attention
did i mention
that he listens to miles and wu-tang?
well dang--it's my thang
and i do what i gotta do
so i think for a minute or two
while engaged in a watercooler conversation
with the object of interest in question
i start flexin' and decide to ask him out.

times and dates and numbers are exchanged
and we start late phone chats, pre-date
and we startle each other with our vast range
of similarities.
and he doesn't seem scared of me
so i figure it's a good start as any
but this is not just any date
it's my first foray into the white world
but my brother used to date a white grl
and she was alright
so i say why not but i decide
to see if he can really hang.

so i suggest a restaurant in my old hood
that we can eat at for cheap
cuz i'm not tryin to be charmed by money
and i wanna see if he rilly rilly
wants to date me.
and he says great in fact that's even better
cuz i just had to pay rent, so i have abt seven dollars
and i was embarrassed to postpone the date--
and i'm like i know yr not broke
and he sez we work in the same office on the same floor
i make what u make
we're economic equals
and i hold my tongue but i do see his point
and he decides to hop the metro
over to my place
at which time he wants to play this new joint
by some kid named lefrak
who he sez is gonna break my back mentally
his words not mine
but the beats are phat and lefrak has a vicious flow
and it was almost cute
to see mike's harmless version of thuggin'

so we

walk outta the apartment complex together
and it's cold enough tonight for la
and i'll be damned if i do not have the coat
for it
and i know my homegirls in new york wld be like
whatever grl
but he actually offers me his coat
and it's mad corny
but thoughtful
but i take it for what it is and
i take it
four blocks later we're at the chinese place
and i give him back his coat
cuz one good turn deserves another.

and then--o brother--

now believe me i know my body language
and i could sense his tenseness
when we walked into that chinese fast food joint
and he was surrounded
by real black folk
lookin nothin like the teevee black folk
real black folk
my beautiful community
but once he saw that i wasn't worried
he exhaled a little.

but i cld still see that while we were stationary
in a spot maginificiently melted in melanin
he was still a little alien
as much as he tried to be totally down
and i do imagine on his side of town
where the up-and-coming white folks live
i might be a bit thrown off too
except i have to do that in his hood everyday
and he does it when he wants to eat chinese with his black co-worker
and yes this is what it sounded like in my head
rilly
but the dinner was cool and we talked abt jill scott on the long walk back
cuz he started singin the chorus after the second block
without his jacket
and i gave him a hug and told him to call me
and that was that.

and the questions remain in my head as my interracial relationships remain platonic
quandaries abt race and culture and economics
abt boundaries, hate, and misinformation
abt appreciation vs. mimicking vs. rippin' off
what we earn vs. what we deserve
and i know that mike the cute white guy can't speak for everyone
and maybe i don't wanna be the benetton ad
and i don't know why i'm so mad
or just frustrated
but it's not that bad, right?
it was just a date...



-------
just breathe
thass what i keep tellin myself
-------
my AIM name is RatpackSlim
my e-mail is ratpackslim@hotmail.com
thass my MSN addy too
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Domepome Poets--the Dopest Poetic Prophets...

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"You Sensitive Bastard", Rob Sturma's latest book of poems, is available directly from the author. It's a pretty book with a real ISBN number and everything.

www.myspace.com/robsturma