NEWSFLASH:

this just in---

new studies have found that happy black women DO EXIST!!!!

contrary to prior reports suggesting happy black women were extinct, a new study uncovers groundbreaking revelations about the world’s most elusive figure.

our undercover agents have observed black women laughing in offices, malls, buses, while driving on freeways, taking their children to soccer practice, and holding hands in movie theaters.

their laughter seems genuine, bellies heaving in and out. their teeth are flashing, their eyes ablaze. this has never been reported before. other black women have been spotted giggling to themselves exclusively. no one seems to know what about, but they are doing it in elevators, down hallways, on street corners and in cross walks.

the majority of this study has been dedicated to the black women who appear to be in love. these love struck nubians have been seen skipping down sidewalks, frolicking in gardens, singing loudly & out of tune in grocery stores. these women show all the signs of new and old love, they don’t eat much, they don’t sleep, they constantly hum their lovers name into the ears of any passerby. we see them carving hearts into trees, drawing red chalk versions of families on concrete. these enamored women linger in their living rooms, eyes closed, dancing, swooning cheek to cheek as artists like the isley brothers, the stylistics, sade, prince and earth wind & fire play loudly on their stereos.

the leaders of this study cannot seem to figure out WHO they are in love with. haven't all the GOOD black men been eliminated? at the onset of this report, we were assured that all eligible black men were either in jail, on drugs, fighting in wars, unemployed, hiding, insane, or just not interested in black women.

the women who participated in this study did not exhibit any of the teeth sucking, neck swiveling, eyes rolling attitude that is so often portrayed in the mainstream media. they spoke gently and assertively, at times they even seemed vulnerable. many black women in this study cried joyfully at commercials, told silly jokes with their friends, and supported their husbands and children with wisdom, affection and humor.

these women reportedly ride bicycles on sundays, drink lemonade on front porches, hike and meditate in forests, wind their hips to reggae music, and hold intellectual debates on various international issues.

when asked about the source of their happiness, one black woman allegedly reported, “i am simply smitten, taken, overwhelmed by the beauty of the sun. as long as she’s shinin, i’m shinin.”

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