I. Sam and Jan were never supposed to have an "and" Sam: the self-professed homophobe Jan: the man who loved other men but neither had ever known a wit as towel-like as his own nor had either ever encountered a –lic who could match him drink for drink and neither Sam nor Jan ever expected his reflection to talk back to him.
II. Jan’s jaw was made heavy by his libido at first site of Sam causing him to ask:
"Who the fuck is that?"
on the other hand, Sam struggled equally in looking at or away from "familiarity" and so it went that Sam and Jan found their "and".
III. Sam liked to rant Jan liked to listen Sam railed about the shortcomings of the capital "L" left and longed for The Revolution Jan hung on every word even as he knew that "Stonewall" was pure Greek to Sam. for Jan, there was something about the combination of Sam’s cadence and passion that could not be avoided.
IV. Jan lived frankly Sam respected Jan’s "frank"-ness Jan did not carry himself like some "Mary" and he proudly wore permanent wounds on his neck, stomach and calf as a resume for not being fucked with, so it confused Sam that he found himself more impressed with Jan’s deft tongue than he was with Jan’s pugilistic prowess. Jan was a charmer and sometimes Sam thought himself to be "lucky".
V. For years, Sam and Jan were a lower case "and" Jan put a governor on his feelings for Sam and "governed" other man after other man while Sam gave away his heart to one woman every three years only to have it returned after a month or less each time as if it had no value as if he had no value and each time, comfort was called Jan and value came from the man who would be if only "he" weren’t. and each time, Jan considered upgrading their "and" but "he" didn’t.
VI. One day when Sam had had too little to drink and Jan threw punchlines that had a washboard effect on Sam’s stomach Sam asked:
"Why don’t you hate me?"
"Why would I hate you? Why would anyone?"
"Because I hate me."
"Why?"
"Because I’m not you."
Jan wanted to tell Sam he loved him Jan wanted to tell Sam why but he knew Sam well enough to know that contempt was all that was left maybe all there ever was or would be so Jan said nothing bought his friend a drink and left his "and" alone.