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Subject: "Someone keyed my car." This topic is locked.
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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
24419 posts
Wed Dec-23-15 09:06 AM

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"Someone keyed my car."


          

99% sure I know who it was, or at least I know the car belonging to the party responsible. Trying to decide how to fuck up their car in retaliation. Someone help me come up with a fool proof plan. It's happening one way or the other (long story) so miss me with the "two wrongs don't make a right" type of shit, please.

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"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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Someone keyed my car. [View all] , Brew, Wed Dec-23-15 09:06 AM
 
Subject Author Message Date ID
probably Kira
Dec 23rd 2015
1
Hahahaha
Dec 24th 2015
126
Deee tales...
Dec 23rd 2015
2
Type of dude to bring a mechanized drone to a knife fight...
Dec 23rd 2015
5
      lmao.. i dont even know how to do that shit
Dec 23rd 2015
19
eggs.
Dec 23rd 2015
3
eggs work best in summer. baked on protein is no fun.
Dec 23rd 2015
31
we need that long story fam
Dec 23rd 2015
4
steal their license plate.
Dec 23rd 2015
6
I really like this one!
Dec 23rd 2015
9
      yeah, someone did that to me. :-(
Dec 23rd 2015
37
I like the eggs idea. I'ma wait a few weeks so it's not so obvious.
Dec 23rd 2015
7
You in Boston right?
Dec 23rd 2015
11
Yes and I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA
Dec 23rd 2015
15
Where are you in Boston btw?
Dec 25th 2015
156
slow tire leak. the gift that gives for days...
Dec 23rd 2015
8
Great idea. What's the best way to go about that ?
Dec 23rd 2015
10
      strategically placed vertical nail......
Dec 23rd 2015
16
      Haha. I'm generally pretty compassionate but not in this case.
Dec 23rd 2015
18
           screws work too.
Dec 23rd 2015
24
           Ha I wouldn't have judged.
Dec 23rd 2015
29
           THIS is how you fuck with someone's tires:
Dec 23rd 2015
30
                *makes note to not live near flipnile and piss him off*
Dec 23rd 2015
34
                seriously lol
Dec 23rd 2015
                This is amazing. This is almost definitely the play.
Dec 23rd 2015
46
                How long does that take?
Dec 23rd 2015
54
                     This is the kind of stuff I'm thinking about too.
Dec 23rd 2015
57
                     Only a few seconds
Dec 23rd 2015
71
                          Dope. Thank you.
Dec 23rd 2015
72
                               don't get caught, fam-
Dec 23rd 2015
81
                     It takes maybe 15 seconds to remove a valve core from a stem...
Dec 23rd 2015
70
      valve core remover. bout 2 bucks at the parts store
Dec 23rd 2015
119
If you relaliate
Dec 23rd 2015
12
Yea this is why I'm gonna wait it out a few weeks if not longer.
Dec 23rd 2015
17
How come you don't step to them personally?
Dec 23rd 2015
13
Damn.
Dec 23rd 2015
20
Okay, #30 is my suggestion for something devious
Dec 23rd 2015
you've never been in a fight in your entire life? amazing
Dec 23rd 2015
33
Haha pretty crazy right.
Dec 23rd 2015
48
i'm not confrontational either, i've just beat the fuck out of a few peo...
Dec 24th 2015
152
Maybe this is just me
Dec 23rd 2015
60
lol..wow
Dec 23rd 2015
47
Wait WHAT? For real?
Dec 23rd 2015
99
      Ha - I know plenty of people who have never fought.
Dec 23rd 2015
100
           Yo is it Berenstein Bears or Berenstain Bears?
Dec 23rd 2015
118
                Haha. Well yea, as a kid I got in some scuffles.
Dec 24th 2015
129
it's probably going come to this anyway, might as well get it over with
Dec 23rd 2015
41
What kind of car are we fucking up?
Dec 23rd 2015
14
Haha - I love this but *I'm* not that savvy.
Dec 23rd 2015
22
You should spray paint funny rape lyrics on their car
Dec 23rd 2015
21
You have to disable their car now
Dec 23rd 2015
23
Hahaha this is great.
Dec 23rd 2015
26
let a small rodent loose off in that joint....
Dec 23rd 2015
27
A buddy of mine put fish under someones car seats
Dec 23rd 2015
35
      you can also put a fish behind their radiator
Dec 23rd 2015
38
           LMAO....y'all ALL need to get out more! lol...sitting around coming up
Dec 23rd 2015
43
                they like wu tang in that torture skit...
Dec 23rd 2015
67
                     I'll fuckin... I'll fuckin...
Dec 23rd 2015
68
                          RE: I'll fuckin... I'll fuckin...
Dec 23rd 2015
69
                               That's the spirit!
Dec 25th 2015
163
is the 3 outta 4 tire insurance thing really a thing?
Dec 23rd 2015
28
      I only heard it was
Dec 23rd 2015
32
Cock. Piss. Partridge.
Dec 23rd 2015
25
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_1VpL6peX4oU/TFMe5UR4bUI/AAAAAAAAB8k/wI7_2slmsq...
Dec 23rd 2015
56
Spray paint
Dec 23rd 2015
36
winner
Dec 23rd 2015
40
I'm dying.
Dec 23rd 2015
51
thats what u call goin hard for reals lol
Dec 23rd 2015
87
      RE: thats what u call goin hard for reals lol
Dec 23rd 2015
90
dogshit on the car door handles
Dec 23rd 2015
39
For that situation yeah
Dec 23rd 2015
42
Hahahahaha
Dec 23rd 2015
55
Man I laughed hard af at this nm
Apr 20th 2016
216
This is a good start.
Dec 23rd 2015
53
Broken glass in the dog shit...too far? n/m
Dec 23rd 2015
58
does stuffing the exhaust do anything?
Dec 23rd 2015
44
it would just stall out the engine...
Dec 23rd 2015
73
Is dude married? leave a condom wrapper in the passenger side door
Dec 23rd 2015
45
Hahaha I have no idea.
Dec 23rd 2015
59
excellent post btw
Dec 23rd 2015
49
Yea this totally shifted my mood.
Dec 23rd 2015
63
Launch a brick through the back windshield with a note....
Dec 23rd 2015
50
LOL!
Dec 23rd 2015
52
HAHAHA
Dec 23rd 2015
62
I'm cracking up. It's like 40 hours til Christmas and the only post
Dec 23rd 2015
61
RE: I'm cracking up. It's like 40 hours til Christmas and the only post
Dec 23rd 2015
64
I'm just here our of workplace boredom.
Dec 23rd 2015
65
get a fish and duct tape it somewhere under the car
Dec 23rd 2015
66
THE FBI WILL GET WIND OF THIS POST & WE WILL ALL GET PINCHED
Dec 23rd 2015
74
Bologna
Dec 23rd 2015
75
Good thread, and I wish you the best
Dec 23rd 2015
76
What's insane is that I'm so mad I wouldn't bat an eye if the guy died.
Dec 23rd 2015
77
      Haha, then party on.
Dec 23rd 2015
78
      Brew, fuck that shit man, listen to this while you jack up them tires
Dec 23rd 2015
85
           Hahahahaha. Dying.
Dec 23rd 2015
88
i saw someone with POS spray painted on their car
Dec 23rd 2015
79
is it possible to turn that shit off for one post?
Dec 23rd 2015
83
      Lol
Dec 23rd 2015
84
      The blaze of glory stuff
Dec 23rd 2015
86
           going to jail is an obvious option
Dec 23rd 2015
89
                I hear you.
Dec 23rd 2015
92
I'm confused why he keyed your car
Dec 23rd 2015
80
this post is hilarious
Dec 23rd 2015
82
syrup + leaves
Dec 23rd 2015
91
someone keyed our car in front of our house
Dec 23rd 2015
93
If its a dude then you could fuck his wife
Dec 23rd 2015
94
I've done that to a dude who owed me money.
Dec 23rd 2015
97
Wait wait wait
Dec 23rd 2015
101
      Nah she told dude first and then tried to front like she was done
Dec 23rd 2015
107
           gotdamn she is dumb as fuck
Dec 23rd 2015
109
                Crazy too. She refused to leave my apartment
Dec 23rd 2015
111
I laughed out loud.
Dec 23rd 2015
98
Put some tuna and raw ground beef in a jar. Piss in said jar
Dec 23rd 2015
95
THIS IS THE ONE
Dec 23rd 2015
96
dna bruh
Dec 23rd 2015
102
Wouldn't they need suspects to narrow it down?
Dec 23rd 2015
103
who is gonna spend money to DNA test that?
Dec 23rd 2015
104
lol ya'll are all right. don't mind me.
Dec 23rd 2015
106
      You're thinking man. Right or wrong I need to consider all angles.
Dec 23rd 2015
112
Fine. Add cat shit, onions and hard boiled eggs. Whatever.
Dec 23rd 2015
105
bleach
Dec 23rd 2015
108
LMAOOOOO, OLD CSI-WATCHING MF'ER!!!!!!!!
Dec 23rd 2015
115
where will you keel this jar and will you tell wifey about it?
Dec 23rd 2015
110
      Haha good questions.
Dec 23rd 2015
113
good grief. jesus cristo. amen
Dec 23rd 2015
122
such a dick move. get revenge but plan it carefully
Dec 23rd 2015
114
man just get a ski mask and beat his ass out of hte blue one day.
Dec 23rd 2015
116
LOFL. this post just keeps on giving
Dec 23rd 2015
121
dont retlaiate, here's why...
Dec 23rd 2015
117
I had to check the OP profile. Nah Bruh. Don't do it.
Dec 23rd 2015
120
I don't get it.
Dec 24th 2015
125
      you aint about that life
Dec 24th 2015
127
      Ah - yes. Facts.
Dec 24th 2015
130
      Retaliating by jacking up someone's car is a female move.
Dec 24th 2015
133
           Got it. Got any suggestions?
Dec 24th 2015
135
                right, lol
Dec 24th 2015
136
                Handle the matter FACE-to-FACE instead of acting like a coward and
Dec 24th 2015
137
                     dude if he beats this fool's ass, he gets fucked with (e.g. by the cops)
Dec 24th 2015
138
                          He can still report the matter to cops and settle in court
Dec 24th 2015
141
                          I did report it but there's not a whole lot they can do about it.
Dec 24th 2015
142
                               Ok, What's your relationship with this cat?
Dec 24th 2015
143
                                    I happen to live 100 yards down the street from him...
Dec 24th 2015
144
                                         So, you're assuming that he messed with your car.
Dec 24th 2015
146
                                         bc what type of bitch ass nigga
Dec 24th 2015
149
                                              So it's a "bitch ass nigga" more to key a car right?
Dec 24th 2015
151
                                              if he's the type of coward to key a car
Dec 26th 2015
169
                                         yea, why'd you withhold all that info man...damn
Dec 24th 2015
147
                                         Your car's been fucked with 6 times in 1 year
Dec 24th 2015
153
                                              Why are you trying to make sense?
Dec 25th 2015
160
I in no way shape form or fashion condone retaliation.....
Dec 23rd 2015
123
dude wtf? that's fucked.
Dec 24th 2015
139
      And that's why:
Dec 24th 2015
145
was it your wife's hot cousin
Dec 23rd 2015
124
Haha I wouldn't even consider retaliating if it were
Dec 24th 2015
131
Put a bite-sized Snicker in the gas tank.
Dec 24th 2015
128
^^^THIS IS THE ONE RIGHT HERE!!!***
Dec 24th 2015
132
Wow. Love it.
Dec 24th 2015
134
does all that old "in the gas tank" shit really work?
Dec 24th 2015
140
      hell yeah it does.
Dec 24th 2015
148
methylene chloride is available Lowes
Dec 24th 2015
150
slap the shit out that nigga when you see him
Dec 24th 2015
154
#128 AND #30.
Dec 25th 2015
155
Add my #95 for a k-k-k-k-killer combo!
Dec 25th 2015
165
congratulations, yall went 110% okayplayery
Dec 25th 2015
157
yall really need to get a consensus on what okayplayery means
Dec 25th 2015
158
okayplayery = weirdo shit
Dec 25th 2015
159
      meanwhile aint none of yall truly the type to throw hands
Dec 25th 2015
161
           lol, you really believe tha toot. But you don't really know that.
Dec 25th 2015
164
Meanwhile, we had ourselves a fun and lighthearted post.
Dec 25th 2015
162
      ^^^
Dec 25th 2015
166
      he was seeking a real solution and considering these replies
Dec 25th 2015
167
           Merry Christmas. Lol.
Dec 25th 2015
168
Update:
Apr 20th 2016
170
wow
Apr 20th 2016
171
When he parks in another spot spit on his car
Apr 20th 2016
172
Actually I've done the spit thing.
Apr 20th 2016
173
      yall wild... lol
Apr 20th 2016
179
           Ahaha I love this idea.
Apr 20th 2016
180
           if a car isn't in running condition, he can call the city and they'll ti...
Apr 20th 2016
186
                hmm... well that sucks
Apr 20th 2016
188
What's the profile on this dude.
Apr 20th 2016
176
I'm not a fighter so no matter what he looks like he'd likely smoke me
Apr 20th 2016
178
      I hear you. Guys like that are like the pig one wrestles...
Apr 20th 2016
194
           Exactly.
Apr 20th 2016
195
Just sign him up as a member of NAMBLA like I do all my enemies.
Apr 20th 2016
181
      HAHAHA wait I hope you're serious.
Apr 20th 2016
182
      damn i'm using this lol
Apr 20th 2016
183
Get a nicer car
Apr 20th 2016
174
Wat.
Apr 20th 2016
175
      don't mind him... he's still on the wrong side of the tracks
Apr 20th 2016
177
           LOL @ the edit.
Apr 20th 2016
184
                but he assumed you have a shitty car cause...
Apr 20th 2016
187
                     Hahahaha. Prob.
Apr 20th 2016
189
                          It's a joke but they say the best revenge is living well.
Apr 20th 2016
197
                               Haha got it.
Apr 20th 2016
199
                                    You might could play up how hard you worked for it
Apr 20th 2016
201
                                    Brew is white as hell...
Apr 20th 2016
204
                                         In that case he should definitely do that kickstarter
Apr 20th 2016
206
                                              Ahahaha I'm dying.
Apr 20th 2016
210
                                    he has more keys than you have cars...
Apr 20th 2016
202
                                         But who has more hoes?
Apr 20th 2016
203
                                              nah... cant even joke like that
Apr 20th 2016
205
                                                   *pulls out pen and paper writes note*
Apr 20th 2016
208
                                                        Aw man someone tell me what legs said originally.
Apr 20th 2016
211
                                                             probably threatening to air my dirty laundry online
Apr 20th 2016
213
                                                             lolz
Apr 21st 2016
221
                                                             rebel virgin got jokes
Apr 21st 2016
229
                                                             the joke was...
Apr 21st 2016
227
                                                                  Ahahahaha - shoulda kept it.
Apr 21st 2016
228
                                                                       i knew YOU would appreciate it but the wolves woulda got me
Apr 21st 2016
230
take the air out of all his tires
Apr 20th 2016
185
If this isn't the most passive agressive thing ever
Apr 20th 2016
190
brew admitted he ain't about that life
Apr 20th 2016
191
Right I definitely don't owe this dude shit.
Apr 20th 2016
193
Yea - passive aggressive and cowardly.
Apr 20th 2016
192
So he confronts dude
Apr 20th 2016
196
I think I said it before. Just go knock on his door and confront him
Apr 20th 2016
198
im sorry i missed this. i vote brick through the living room window.
Apr 20th 2016
200
i understand you dont fight, but you said
Apr 20th 2016
207
I can't understand how folks let one person terrorize them
Apr 20th 2016
214
      Haha I hear you but ...
Apr 20th 2016
218
           Put a Ransom Style note in his door
Apr 21st 2016
220
If he's keying/spitting on other cars, then organize a mob
Apr 20th 2016
209
Yea this has been a strong consideration of mine.
Apr 20th 2016
212
and go straight to his doorstep
Apr 20th 2016
215
More than 1 accomplice is dangerous
Jun 28th 2017
271
Why dont you just set up a camera and park in the spot
Apr 20th 2016
217
I've considered the camera.
Apr 20th 2016
219
      just do the camera thing...
Apr 21st 2016
222
           I actually already did this.
Apr 21st 2016
226
                wow, has he stopped at least?
Apr 21st 2016
240
                     Nope this was back a few weeks after it first happened.
Apr 21st 2016
247
lulz...yall are killin me with "go to his house"...
Apr 21st 2016
223
trying to get Brew on the front of a tshirt
Apr 21st 2016
231
I'm dying.
Apr 21st 2016
232
      If you go to his house, you will be.
Apr 21st 2016
234
      I have no plans to go to his house.
Apr 21st 2016
235
      LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!
Apr 21st 2016
238
      Passes you the mic for the Master P chorus...
Apr 21st 2016
237
Goddamn...LMAO!
Apr 21st 2016
244
      fam, I had a homeboy who went to a dude's crib...
Apr 21st 2016
246
           Ahaha jesus.
Apr 21st 2016
248
           Ninja said, "fallin out ceilin like extra lives"......*DEAD*
Apr 21st 2016
255
pay someone to kick his ass
Apr 21st 2016
224
Haha this was actually heavily considered last week...
Apr 21st 2016
225
      That's how jokers go to jail. What if dude get's killed or
Apr 21st 2016
233
           Fair.
Apr 21st 2016
236
           man quit listening to Case.
Apr 21st 2016
242
                Hahahaha all facts.
Apr 21st 2016
245
           all things that could happen to Brew if he confronted dude
Apr 21st 2016
239
           He got paid to do a job.
Apr 21st 2016
241
Da Mission:.............
Apr 21st 2016
243
Hahahahahaha yo I am crying.
Apr 21st 2016
250
      cup of doo doo made me spit on my laptop screen
Apr 21st 2016
252
      Ahahah yep. I'm still in tears.
Apr 21st 2016
254
      Word bond, funniest shit is Im jokin AND serious at da same damn time!
Apr 21st 2016
256
ANother alternative is to get a paintball gun
Apr 21st 2016
249
Paintball gun is a great idea.
Apr 21st 2016
251
Minor update:
Apr 21st 2016
253
Major update required, sir.
Jun 27th 2017
257
      haha you dug deep
Jun 27th 2017
258
      Brewing Bad is one of my favourite shows.
Jun 27th 2017
262
           Hahaha nice.
Jun 27th 2017
266
           haha man..... *thumbs up*
Jun 28th 2017
272
      Haha ! My bad. Nothing substantial to report, sadly.
Jun 27th 2017
259
           haha, the saga continues
Jun 27th 2017
261
           Nice. He better hope 'The Purge' doesn't become a reality.
Jun 27th 2017
263
                Hah for sure.
Jun 27th 2017
269
Slash a tire AND put dogshit under the handles on the car doors
Jun 27th 2017
260
Dog shit with crushed glass in it...too much?
Jun 27th 2017
264
LOL
Jun 27th 2017
267
I say start the Death Stench Jar now
Jun 27th 2017
265
This still one of my favorite plans. Dunno where I'd keep it...
Jun 27th 2017
268
Whole Post funny as shit!
Jun 27th 2017
270

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