Go be Saban. You don't have to actually coach, the recruits come to you, and you can hire every assistant while making 10 million a year til you die.

These assholes have to know they can't actually coach men. They can't game plan, and they can't really coach anyone up or call plays. Just go bang young girls and stop trying to be a coach
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<================== Learn the name now before everyone gets dunked on