You're literally just posting out of hate.

-Chicago has the better ready-to-go roster, but not the money and don't have a lot of attractive options for S&T deals to pay him. Still, Rose and Noah makes for a great tandem to play with while being coached by one of the best coaches in the game at the moment.

-New York can offer the most money and the allure of Phil Jackson's vision, but don't really have the greatest roster and would have to do some leg work to get another star for Melo to play with, not a lot of assets to make it happen with, and they have an unproven coach. Amare's massive expiring could net something worthwhile though.

-Lakers can offer him max money, but not like New York can. Roster wise, they're a gamble in that they can offer the probability of Pau resigning, a healthy Kobe who may or may not still be a major threat, and a promising young rookie in Randle. If those stars align and Pau does what Pau usually does, Kobe returns as something resembling his former self, Randle happens, Marshall's play-making stays on track, and Nash's expiring deal nets something else? Add Melo to that and they could do a lot more damage then people are willing to give them credit for. Still, that's an awful lot of things that need to go just right, and they STILL HAVE NO COACH.

-Houston has Dwight and Harden, along with assets that shouldn't be too hard to trade to free up money. That said, McHale sucks, Harden is redundant with Melo on the team (seriously, Born Ready would be a better fit for that squad with Melo, but I digress), Still, they'd likely lose Parsons, Asik, and Lin in the process, which is a loss of considerable depth.

-Dallas, which I'm shocked he didn't give more of a thought. Dirk, Monte, and Tyson is a good nucleus to join. They have long term coaching stability and a coach who will go all out when he smells blood. Not sure what the issue with them is, but that's a great situation IMO. As it stands they should probably just add Ariza and Isiah Thomas and relaunch a new era of gunslingers. They'd outscore most teams more nights then not, but I digress. Melo, Dirk, Tyson, and Monte puts them at top four out west, possibly displacing OKC in the top three.

Yeah, there's a shitload of things to consider