I created a full cladistics of NBA-style players


I keep it to myself mostly, but this is too perfect


Wingmanus nyquilius or "The Nyquil Wing"


Usually very gifted athletically with a wide breadth of skills. They don't appear like they are trying particularly hard and often aren't. Personality wise, they aren't volatile but can be weak-minded and distract-able. They can be baited into anger after which they are prone to go apeshit for 38-12-11 against just about anyone. They are usually better on defense than offense, because offense requires too much responsibility. They are liable to disappear for 14 minute stretches and author some spectacular lapses on defense. They are also capable of breathtaking athletic feats that get them great contracts (sometimes deservedly so, but often not)


Prototype: Derrick McKey

All-Time Great: Scottie Pippen (mostly pre-1991; rarely
post 1991)

Rising Star: Paul George

Other notables: Joe Johnson


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O_E: "Acts like an asshole and posts with imperial disdain"




"I ORBITs the solar system, listenin..."

(C)Keith Murray, "