On Defense:
Kyle VandenBosch
Cliff Avril

KVB might have been the worst every-down starter in the league this year. ProFootballFocus does their "These players sucked terribly on Sunday" list every week, and KVB was in at least 12 of them. A total non-factor, he can be eliminated from a play with so little effort the LT can usually help on someone else when he's done. I spotted two or three plays a game where even a replacement-level DE would have notched a sack or strip or SOMETHING.

Avril has one move, and that's "run upfield as fast as possible, and hope the QB does a blind rollout into my arms." Fucking garbage player. Suh and Fairley were terrific this year--neither one of these DEs saw a double team all season long. But neither one could do a fucking thing with single-man blocking and a collapsed pocket. JJ Watt would have 45 sacks next to Suh and Fairley. With our secondary shredded by injuries, it was up to our beaucoup-bucks D-line to save them. These two assholes tanked the fucking season, as far as I'm concerned.

On Offense, from left to right:
Jeff Backus
Dominic Raiola
Stephen Peterman

The holy trinity of shit O-linemen. Raiola is the worst of them. Hands-down, the stupidest 10-year vet I've ever had the displeasure of watching. His "gaffe" in Tennessee was one of the more unbelievable things I've ever seen in an NFL game.

"Hey Dom, all you have to do is not snap the ball, and there's a damn good chance we win this game."

::snaps the ball::

He gets blasted 3 yards off the line on nearly every running play. You all saw what Jadaveon Clowney did to Vincent Smith yesterday? That's every Lions running play. D-linemen get to the carrier about 0.001 seconds after the ball does. He's an embarrassment. Backus and Peterman, I don't even have enough juice left to write about. I'll say this--is they see an opportunity to cripple the team's chances with a critical false start or holding call, they'll take it 100% of the time. They're consistent, at least.

Of course, I'm assuming that Stefan Logan and Titus Young have played themselves out of Detroit. If either one returns, then he instantly grabs the #1 spot. Young will catch more heat, but I'm convinced no one player did more to sink this Lions season than Stefan Logan. I wish I could set this in italics, but I can't, so it gets it's own line:

Every single time he made a decision, it was the wrong one.

Simple as that. If a fair catch was the right call, he tried to run it back. If he should have let it bounce over his head, he caught it. He had to lead the league in kickoff returns that he fielded 7 yards deep in the endzone, ran back, and failed to get to the 20. Just fucked up every single time he was given the opportunity to fuck up...which was every single time. Fuck you, Schwartz.

Brandon Pettigrew...fuck you. You belong on this list. You run like you're in mud, you drop 2 absolutely critical passes a game, and you added the awesome new wrinkle this year of letting 190lb DBs rip the football from your hands when simply falling down would have literally won us a game. He is on the hook for the Tennessee and Houston losses this year, as much as the more obvious assholes (Raiola in TN, Schwartz vs HOU). But goddammit, as terrible as you are, this offense needs you on the field--the last 4 weeks have proven that.