gotta say I didn't see that coming this quickly but it's here & now it's only by 'degrees' of failure (luckily there's not much chance it approaches the Katz Era Triple Crown Of Disaster but we're still looking pretty well-fucked anyway).

ed. note: *yes, this is a 'get a blog, Bomb' post so you can stop here if you ain't got the stomach for that.*

It's not even the main principal from our side-Iggy-we had to cut bait on his deal & move on but just the fact that this 2nd-Best-C/Our-Best-Big-Man-Since-Moses is never going to really play meaningful minutes this season, meanwhile the young Russian C from USC we traded is suddenly turning out double-doubles routinely in Orlando while we dealt our first-rounder in Harkless (who they presumably only drafted because they knew they were trading Iggy) plus burned a future-first to the Heat to pick Moultrie (with Perry Jones seeming like the logical pick there) all adds up if we're no closer to knowing anything about Andrew Bynum's ability to anchor a team this calendar year. Luckily the Heat first we gave is lotto-protected for the next couple years but damn.

That along with the disheartening realization that it likely wasn't Iggy hindering his minutes or progress at this point, Duck Sauce might just really suck & as a #2 overall first-round pick represent a third time that exact slot has blown up in our face since Shawn Bradley-over-Penny in '93.

This has gone way worse than the worst-case-scenario for this offseason's activity could have gone, this dude Drew waited Shaq-style until just before camp to go the Germany to get that ARod/Kobe German Engineering Blood-Doping Procedure done but apparently he went to one of Dr. Mengele's descendants instead because he didn't have an injury before he got there playing every game of a condensed season & now he's gonna be out all season with two bad knees after going back for a second-helping on that procedure.

The fact that Dwight had back surgery & played Opening Night while Bynum makes news only by how crazy he looks on the sideline or what made up date for his return (now next to no hope before the AS Break) team spokespeople will guess next, only makes it more pronounced.

Making matters worse on a day-to-day personal level is the fact that my CFO at the office pulls up to work everyday in a tricked out BMW on 22's that he actually bought used with less than 10K miles on it from Andrew Bynum himself this past spring for basically 10 cents on the dollar since AB was out of room on the lot & there was some kind of tax regulation with the amount of cars he owns.

This man can't stop smiling as he talks about not having to worry about Drew anymore & regaling me with tales from the car guy they share in common who says Drew openly/repeatedly tells him he doesn't enjoy playing basketball.

Mind you my CFO's telling me this while trolling me about Lebron coming out to play with Dwight in '14 after Kobe retires with two more & while I don't believe any of that shit is going to happen I can't pretend any of it is completely out of the realm of possibilities (like say, a Sixer title this season would be).

In the early evening if I'm in my office later than him (which I usually am, including the three times he bounced early with last-minute free tickets to the Laker games this week) as he starts the car & begins to pull out of the garage below with that whip's jet-engine-sounding ignition I can feel it lightly vibrating the floor of my office up to my feet.

It's the only car downstairs that does that (AB sounds like he paid extra for an engine from Boeing up the street) & it serves as a dread-filled reminder that the version of 'Socks' the Sixers acquired is going to metaphorically resemble a crusty cumrag in 2012-13, one under the bed which probably won't get washed or be usable as anything else until they fall into another city's hands.

Sixer Fans don't try to debate it or think I'm jumping to a conclusion you don't already see too.

We. Are. Fucked.

More than just that we're fucked without even getting to see 'a fucking peep'(c)Chris Rock of how this might have gone (tho obviously it's hard to think Bynum would have been ready to make 'The Leap' to be a truly elite player this year even if was healthy based on the evidence we have).

This fall/winter coulda been the perfect time for the city to be back fully on board with this basketball team too with the Eagle season being over by late October & the Flyers season on its way to being cancelled.

Instead we're gonna be watching Jrue bust his ass & Collins coach this team to somewhere above the level of their talent only to late in the year be wondering to ourselves whether it makes more sense to win or hope to tank to keep our first-rounder next offseason.

Bundle Up Bitches, Philly's Long Cold Sporting Winter has already begun & it's about to get 'bitterly, bitterly cold'(c)Frank-B-from-EPMD-Too-Much-To-Drink

Transmitting A Foreboding Forecast Live From Planet Lovetron,

World B. DNP