1st mason and Ireland

How are you?

Doing good. Surprised you guys are still having me on.

We love you. We hate your actions.

There was no stealing going on. Dwight chose to came to us.

How did you steal him?

He chose as a free agent. He picked the Rockets.

You did something the Lakers are facing now. You lost Yao and McGrady because of injuries but had a competitive team. Now you have one again - a competitive team but you didn't tank. You never went south. Did you get into the lottery over the past four years?

If you count 14th. We did pick 12th once. Mitch is the best in the business. He doesn't need advice from me or anyone else. The Lakers will be fine. They'll have cap room and probably still the number one destination team in the NBA. I think you guys will be fine. No one should cry for them.

Take us inside your dinner date with Dwight and all you guys on that first night of free agency.

It was quite a spectacle. I was trying not to screw anything up. I felt, if Dwight took a careful process and met with all the teams, and felt like at the end of it that we gave him the best chance to win, my hope was that would be his number one criteria, and turns out it was.

Why did the Rockets give him the best chance?

I thought it was overwhelming evidence. James Harden, if he's not the best two guard in the league, he will be in the next year or two. History says you need two all-stars and two top ten guys in the league. We feel like we have that now. You start there. Then a young core that would win 50 games without Dwight. Then even more overwhelming, we have all our draft picks going forward, the most free agency money, and most young talent to have to develop or trade to upgrade the team. I guess I'm biased but it was overwhelming. The Rockets were the best choice by far.

Did you set up a power point in the restaurant?

No power point. There were a few videos.

Does Dwight read excel?

Yeah, he was editing cells, correcting my formulas. It was fascinating to watch.

Did you worry about stuff like what he was eating? Like the food he liked? Did you cater?

Yeah, we did that kind of research. For the dinner, we weren't able to have conversations ahead so we called them at 9:00pm that night. I asked if we were going to be able to meet with him that night. That was our hope. They picked the venue. But his diet and long term stuff, that was something we focused on. We didn't have a ball of skittles there, which we know he loves. I love skittles too. That's what computer programmers live on.

Did you bring any Rockettes there?

It's the snake charmers. It's the power dancers. You shouldn't disrespect them. They're the best in the league.

Don't you think Rockettes is better?

That is not my department. I do want to get invited just this one time to the selection for the dance team, however. I would think I could throw my weight around, at least get an invite to the dance selection.

Do you have a spreadsheet for that?

There should be something. There should be something.

Can you believe it? That you got Dwight Howard.

Until his hand was moving on that document, I didn't believe it. What's the mood in Lakers Nation? Seems like good riddance.

People don't remember he was here honestly. It's divided. Half the people are surprised he decided to leave. The other half, if he doesn't want to be here, get rid of him.

(Mason) Houston is my least favorite major American city.

LA is not on my favorite list either. I like taking cabs everywhere and it's brutal in your town. It's expensive. Did you guys run shows like 'Crisis in Lakersville'?

There was a special episode 'Crisis in Lakersville'. It was one of our highest rated episodes.

In my head, that's what happened.

We were too busy taking down billboards. What did your billboards in Houston say?

They just had pictures. No dog themes like you guys had. We went with pictures and felt that was the classier way to go than any dog images.

You guys get together with your number buddies in Boston every year, right?

We do.

Have you figured out how many games everybody will win? How many games will the Rockets win?

I know what our goals are. We are hoping for home court in the playoffs and want to get to the conference finals. They're stretch goals and difficult goals. In Lakersville, maybe they sound funny, but for us, a young team building, once you get to the conference finals, you got a chance to win it all.

There is something vaguely offensive about Lakersville. You make us sound small. I think we should start calling you Rocketsburg.

There were may more insults from LA to Houston than the other way. I thought you guys were Lakersville. What's the official name?

We call it Lakers world! ... There is no name. He's making it up. ... Did you hear about the kid who went after Shaq?

I did hear about that.

Shaq said some stuff about Houston. We called you a small town.

We sorta embrace that. We're the biggest small town. We're a friendly place. Just about winning and friendliness. No nastiness.



When did you start hiring PR directors that young?

He's up there with the good job, good effort kid. I'm sure we got him on the payroll.

Congratulations. We expect nothing less from you but were surprised you pulled it off. If we had to lose him, I'd rather you be the thief than anyone else. That's the highest compliment we can give you.

Great to hear from you guys. Appreciate it.

Travel safe. By the way, if you find any big guys in Vegas, send them to Mitch because you don't need them anymore. We're looking at Hakeem for vet's minimum.

You guys got Robert Sacre.

Give us Omer Asik.

We're gonna have the best defensive centers in the league.

Travel safe. Thanks for coming on.