1. Get drunk before you come.

2. Wear the dumbest fucking outfit you can possibly muster up.

3. Cram into a West Campus parking lot with a thousand other drunk idiots.

4. Stop by the free soft pretzel truck. Eat a hundred of them.

5. Pour beer on as many people as you possibly can.

6. Go to the game and buy overpriced food.

7. Pass out during the first quarter of the game. Have your friends carry you home or stop by the first aid tent to be taken to the hospital.

I have some wonderful tailgate photos somewhere. From my famous shark hat to my ensemble composed entirely of Wal-Mart girls' High School Musical merchandise... all good times.

And so white. So, so, so very white.