does this work?

https://archive.org/download/Deduno2/Deduno1.gif

As Deduno began his motion, C.B. Bucknor or some such umpire called Deduno for a balk. As you’ll recall from our discussion of balks last summer, it is relatively common for balks to go entirely unnoticed by nearly everybody in the park, including the announcers, and in this case the Twins announcers a) declare Eaton out, then b) confusedly wonder how they apparently lost track of the count, then c) wonder why Alexei Ramirez was allowed to steal second base in apparent slow motion, then d) conclude that they were definitely right about the count. Some number of pitches later, they finally realize that there was a balk. Which means that, after approximately 90 seconds of living in a world in which that Samuel Deduno curveball exists, we now live in a world where it didn’t exist. It never happened. If you go look at Deduno’s Brooks Baseball profile, the pitch is on no zone charts, it appears in no tables. It is not in his pitch count, and it does not count as a demerit on Adam Eaton’s contact rate.

Which is difficult to reconcile with the fact that, 87 years from now, when Adam Eaton is sitting contentedly in a senior-living facility, he will suddenly slump over in his chair. Nurses will attempt to revive him, but—aside from a sudden spasm in which he bites each nurse on the hand—he will not move again. When the coroner performs her autopsy, she will discover that every cell in his body had rotted and festered, like avocado slices left out overnight. How can this be? She will dig deep into his past, his medical background, his family history, his dreams and memories (by this point all dreams and memories will be automatically recorded and saved in massive databases), his PITCHf/x profiles. Because this pitch was never recorded, however, she will not discover that, on April 2, 2014, in the 11th inning of a baseball game in Chicago, Samuel Deduno threw a curveball that utterly destroyed a part of Adam Eaton’s soul.