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Forum nameFreestyle Board
Topic subjectI format the rhymes step by step
Topic URLhttp://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=7&topic_id=94013
94013, I format the rhymes step by step
Posted by c71, Thu Jun-20-19 05:09 AM
implored by those who devour sour candies like a dandy

pursued in the course of nature evolving when we solve

the conundrum that comes from having a view set

towards the upper decks kept in check by implied

guilt trips like pink slips nipped in the bud

shudder to think what would be coming next

within the context expected to recover from

setbacks counteract the impact implicit

rhymes revisit old hits then flip lines

crucial times like Ray Cappo and Porcell

can't close my eyes surprised that

the format closes doors shut conduct

rhyming forays into the maze displayed

in public subject to examination

frayed nerve endings rendering meanings

that seem dreamlike it's your life

so keep it tight
94016, RE: I format the rhymes step by step
Posted by SynsCei, Fri Jun-21-19 05:05 PM
I dig it man.

PG's critiques of the ones he's done on mine, has basically been like:

Solid wordplay, but the references kinda water it down.

I've used that critique to try and up my rhymes with feeling and not references.

Clearly, you post like 2847 times a day (it's not a jab, it's a playful elbow), so I hope you read this and continue as I enjoy reading your writtens.




94019, thanks, appreciate the encouragement
Posted by c71, Sat Jun-22-19 07:47 AM
yep