I should have never let the wild'fire take over the wildflowers
Should have concealed all desires, and left smiles near me
It's been years, I wake up still dreaming of the time
We used to be good friends no need for separation
It's so stupid, what is the point of going further
into passion that loses meaning, magic, momentum
and now fading back into the other side where your face dwells for me
how could you think that's all I wanted
when wanting your company led to this mess in the first place
when we had love, and like blacksmiths forced something solid into a different shape
I wish I hadn't, love, for the sake of what we both knew in you
friendship that grew with us, now denied by your rationality

why didn't I call back, write you, no choice

but to make no more choices regarding you
to show my love I cared deeply
and to make it into a darker memory of our past
I outlast that images validity,
coming out of the fog in tears
that I thought was humidity not from me
I guess I should have known
you were not for me
should have left that side alone
but I was shaking from the cold and you were too warm
no need to create jealousy it was what it was
that's why we're not there now
I wish you knew my intent never bent to make enemies
but perhaps too attached to your energy
loving the way you were
and so the lines blurred between us
leaving undefined designs that lack trust in our friendship
rewove into a tapestry of our choosing
I simply wasn't there to affirm what I knew
that you were----before you painted me a devil
one who knew my goodness
one who I wished the best for
brought you into secret covenants
that was my mistake
your covenant was meant to be told to the world
we could have stayed simple
you were meant to be my friend
why do you think I fell so shallowly into your arms
when I felt like I fell into deep caverns of thought
but you'll never read this, perhaps we'll never get re-acquainted
for the sake of respecting my love and family maybe it's best
yet in my dreaming
I see a place for you that's natural
based on actual friendship
no molten submersions into subversive affections
affecting you the way I did
must have been challenging
attempting balancing after I saw into you
and then disappeared
how many peers will become my tears
knowing that they peered into it and were my measures
only to fear and justify our misdeeds with portraits of false resolutions
cast into shadows where on the fringes I see your faces
the dark portals of realities deception of time
opening minds to places long behind them
that they've convinced are for the best
and accomplishing this must never go back to retract there statements
for the enactment of these days spin the emptiness
to part souls from places that they cannot grow further
yet sometimes the blood trickles down the vine and responds murder
who the killed that moment?
It was always what not who
In the end
all I can say
is now I would act differently
that what I thought to act on emphatically
was bad friendship wasting what potentially
could have gone on unselfishly and wealthily
desire is unselfish though when it remains an undefined feeling
more natural the potion of the golden goblet with hearts in friends company
it seems so like us to do things that misguide us
all a symbol of our love,
full of contradictions, recast into the present
in a tapestry of our choice

And if I've learned one thing
it's that people aren't really that bad
too study the mistakes is a mistake I've had move from
To exact revenge upon fluidity which changed into more natural expressions
would be to not take in what I just said
why dwell in these errors when the heir to these bodies
are more complex than these bodies
containing the image of what they went through
emotion, and the silent sound of thought
ever contemplating
I see the experience
of my friends who have been parted from me
as being something that could have been regarded to be
a circumstantial divide produced from kinetic energy
where are you in my life they'd tell me
this all is a part of me, you stoked my fire
its an important moment
my dad was a rolling stone
I don't even see him really
he feels that I ignore him
it's irony, I don't have time to spin this life in front of him
but invite him thoroughly to join me
and my child is a golden bright beauty
watching her eye movements around me
bring me back to the now
to contemplate with another
who wonders "Why, and How"
all them questions
leading us to what
I remember not to focus on words so much anymore
It helps diffuse conflicts to understand we come from insatiable complexity
memories built layer upon layer upon layer
I say a prayer to give me solidity in form
while moving on fluidity as a principal of my creation
to bring wisdom to the home that I am building with such a sweet woman
to be what I must be in order to push the limit in our conversations
and return what is rightfully ours to those around me, love and unity
why must the story told on your tv be yours
many places go without war
make note of the complexity of what we propose to do
how bold we are to form a goal considering ourselves as a whole
what are we
why are we doing these things
where are we going to
I am a spark
that sets fire to wicks
because
you are a spark
that's the reason we are talking
embarking on oneness in our reasoning
how much do you desire to travel outside of these
to behold beauty from within to be what you love and see around you
oh such popularity is built on deceitful expansion of consciousness
when in reality you desire something naturally yours
this is life's gift to you to expand to find new memories
I give it to you again when I hit the microphone
I'm not sure who is home
when I'm listening, the transient state awake with fate is there
while fighting the withering fight and preparing to take it there
what are you upto now a days my friends who am I
Aedan Harris Sydney Hoar, Aedan Harris Sydney Alderson
what do these names mean?
The Harris in my name remains illusory to meaning
in a place where Mike Harris became a beast to the people
Syd is what they call me or my friends in certain places
interesting, this is Aedan's story, inside it must lay a meaning
young one born on the middle sun tenth cusp kingdom
Aedan being drawn from an ancient unisex god from Celtic history
and the catholics recalling a saint that gave away anything to people he saw in need
a man who spread the word across england and scotland
and then king arthur's father known as uther pendragon
meaning bad highking but perhaps only bad because of his success in battle
and then theres me, this son of a lesbian, brother of a st. vincent queen, father to aunicorn, lover to a moon fairy,
you think I kid you but I am a literalist in most of my writing
and so my epic stumbles upon entering, like the rhythm of a fumbling horse
who ofcourse is the celtic sign for sagittarius and is also known as the man
they say that people like me are supposed to view childhood as a person hunted by wolves
that our souls are rare they come from the abyss in an escape made in spirit
and hunted by Abyssians in this nature the midnight's children
my life had much pain sorrow disdain for itself
but all of my friends were the reason
in the first place
that I had such grace elequontly strung about me
surrounded by love always
not once
forgotten as I had thought in my plotting upon the starts of false hopes
rhythms now too unseemly to be me
I've seen so many things and my center returns home
to love Jesse in the homes of my heart the start of my kingdom
but you who shelter me are my home away from home that has kept me
I beg you make a path for me to tread
the world I must mend
by letting people know they are appreciated uniquely and not equally
but respected as a unity that glows within ourselves why else would you take time to listen