guess I underthought it
there I was at the very pulse
of the industry
if I never met them, they wasn't that important
if I did meet them, I was usually introduced

wasn't famous
moreso infamous
what I said usually caused a stir
and to this day
I know that THIS is what they loved
about me..

that either I was short-circuited, crazy, or just attention-starved
never seemed 2 matter
they would laugh, and laugh
and then add on to the joke
so that I would then be their audience

THIS is the part that tickled me
here WERE this HUGE names
virtually falling overthemselves, their feet and/or title
just 2 find out where I was at
and try 2 meet me there
or get me 2 roll off where they was at

I was waaaaaay 2 thirsty
in the 90's
and folks took FULL advantage
maybe that's way I can't just put a CAP on them situations
because the lines of offense were sooooo blurred..
like there really wasn't room 4 offence
at least in my eyes
because in TRUTH, the day WE all ignored our positions, ages, titles, and all like that..and just decided 2 shuck it all and talk from the hip, holding never-no punches, and smoke and drank to our hearts content..

We sort of gave away the right 4 future offence..
Or did we?

At times, and I could be wrong, I feel like THOSE closest 2 me, are deeply afraid of my mind's eye and subsequent machinations..

I worry myself at times..

I can sing for hours, do entire background lines, and then swing back through and do the lead, and then drop some ill ad-libs..

and then sit all 3 or less hours while the engineer do(es) his engineer thing..in silence...

That intristic thing...I love it, but hate it, because there are things that SHOULD have been said, SHOULD STILL be said, and I worry about how it should read and be heard, in and as far as the tone, the punctuation, the pausing...all that..

I hear it..

GOD...Hear my cry and no longer turn thine away from my muffled sound of heart-break..