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76129, "blk girls don't commit suicide" - © Lei aka paperdollpoet
Posted by KnowOne, Thu Aug-07-08 03:17 PM
Blk girls don’t commit suicide
some of us
just drown in red nylon capes
riddled with holes and mismatched patches
our grandma’s made
quilts out of
backwood knowledge and myths
that became our nursery rhymes
strong&black
turned to ropes we double dutched with
overtime
we got hand-me-down issues
from fatherless mothers
who put sons
on pedestals
that their fathers left vacant
turning boys to niggas
that forget to say goodbye
when they leave
and
some of us
aren’t allowed to cry out loud
so we learn we swallow tear shaped pride
and whisper peppermint scented prayers
into the bottom of collection plates
that they’ll return
in time
for next Sunday’s service
cause
we
don’t
leave
drawn out letters
craved into our pulses
and we don’t delicately overdose on colorful prescriptions
some of us
just choke on pleas for help
we don’t let anyone hold our doors
or carry our grocery bags
cause we feel empty
without
the extra weight on our backs
so
we store daintiness
between heavy breasts and folds of skin
like hidden treasures
for men to find
"please let me be weak for once"
is plastered against
vaginal brick walls
like faded promotional posters
we have learned to wait
for happiness
with name tags on
so it will recognize us
cause we’ll be too busy
dancing between jobs and dreams
and
passionately fish frying failed relationships
that will turn to
the love handles on the emotional baggage
that we claim
is independence
but we ain’t free yet
cause some of us
still got aunt jemima loc’ed up in our minds
aint yo momma
but we’ll take care of you
and carry you
before we can take care of ourselves
cause
we
don’t
ever
fall
gracefully off of rooftops
creating abstract art on concrete
cause
some of us are
already sidewalks
that
fear the heights
of glass ceilings
so we take part time jobs
suffocating our children
with "yo daddy ain't shit" bed time stories
cause every hero needs
a villian
to blame
for not finishing college
but we did take enough credit cards
to die
in debt
only leaving our children with
our capes
cause see
blk girls don’t commit suicide
we are heros
that live our deaths
a thousands times
and thats why
with my dying breaths
I’ll whisper for my daughters
to cry
to be fragile
to have nervous break downs
to fail
to fall
to be
women.