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Forum nameFreestyle Board
Topic subjectwalking with three shadows (1)
Topic URLhttp://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=7&topic_id=72598
72598, walking with three shadows (1)
Posted by Morehouse, Fri Mar-07-08 11:33 PM
what comes and goes
to and fro
but the sun and moon
meeting to speak
in the vast language of wind
heard from cloud to concrete

where i stand, march,
wade through the dreams
of others, deferred
in silence by the purgatory
of the third rail

together, we trudge
into the day
mundane crossings of eyes
routine circumstance
so banal that we often
forget to breathe
72657, Is This ...
Posted by PhotoSynthesis, Mon Mar-10-08 11:31 PM
Part I -- with two more parts to follow?

*Just Wondering*

I like what I've read so far ... Looking for more -- :D

72712, i appreciate the title
Posted by mindful, Thu Mar-13-08 06:04 PM
and this stanza:

together, we trudge
into the day
mundane crossings of eyes
routine circumstance
so banal that we often
forget to breathe

good work, man... Peace~

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the search for peace is a long
and tedious journey. be prepared.
72724, RE: walking with three shadows (1)
Posted by Amira Muse, Thu Mar-13-08 10:45 PM
I like the line break of line one of stanza two. It's a simple statement, but so directive. Couple that with the opening of stanza three and you've done an excellent job of pulling readers in without forcing your hand or theirs.