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Forum nameFreestyle Board
Topic subject A I R
Topic URLhttp://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=7&topic_id=70915
70915, A I R
Posted by Babynoon, Sat Nov-03-07 11:56 PM
Cool winds blowing down trees'

Nature speaks

Karma got a whole of thee'

Nature speaks

Got soul in these feet so overlook my vanilla skin'

Nature procreates

Hearts tweek'

Nature plays

Let words say "air is clean"

Nature beats

The air is clean
The air we see'
Now inhale with thee
&
Let her breathe alone.

70925, i don' t know about this one
Posted by mindful, Sun Nov-04-07 10:15 AM
it isn't as potent as others i've read from you (but, all writings are different, aren't they?). i like the concept and the soothing tone to the poem, but it wasn't what i expected from you, i guess. what prompted the change?

----------------------------
http://msmind.wordpress.com
http://www.clutchmagazine.com

*childlike*
70932, RE: i don' t know about this one
Posted by ASIEM, Sun Nov-04-07 05:30 PM
I know i was saying the same thing as i was reading but then i also thought how creative your writing is cause this had to have been another side of you i have yet to notice.
very serene feel to this

"keep pennin till the earth birth's your rightful seed then nurture it wit more ink..."
ASIEM
"Kuun fiyah Kuun" Quran
(Be and it is)
" A writer takes his pen to write the words again that all in love is fair" Stevie Wonder
70949, unfortunately
Posted by invisible ink, Mon Nov-05-07 09:30 AM
I have to agree with the fam...let it OUT missy(lol)...I've read some dope stuff from u...keep it going....miss k
70953, Fortunately
Posted by Babynoon, Mon Nov-05-07 12:18 PM
>I have to agree with the fam...let it OUT missy(lol)...I've
>read some dope stuff from u...keep it going....miss k


I'm such a control vice and did hold in breath while doing this one.

I love its meaning to me though so..... €:)


Thank you for continued critiques,who doesn't need it?
70956, happy2see
Posted by Babynoon, Mon Nov-05-07 01:08 PM
You all here'I sent inboxes of shoutouts to some.

ASIEM?
Thanx 4 noticing an attempt of exploration in flight to destination: Change. My moods are expressed more as I write now.

*Love yall for the energy*