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Forum nameFreestyle Board
Topic subjectRE: i need feed back!
Topic URLhttp://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=7&topic_id=66225&mesg_id=66305
66305, RE: i need feed back!
Posted by Ezzsential, Thu Mar-29-07 11:47 PM
hmm interesting

i thought that send in the contenders had the most punches

maybe it was my deliv but i did it over (the site doesnt let u delete once u finished.. so i just redid it on pt 2)

cum original-damn dog, that shit had some killaz..

u liked get lifted? i thought that wasnt direct at all but yeah deliv was amped.. that verse is OLD as hell that is prolly why cuz i didnt read it

aiight tho.. good advice cuz fuck that im in it to win it

and i have fun doin this shit so good looks


i just hope it doesnt take me months to get a rap deliv right

but maybe i should just use the fuckin deliv style i had in get lifted


>send in the contenders didn't have any strong punches IMO
>
>get lifted was better, nothing real hard but the punches were
>much better than that last joint. delivery was much better,
>you actually sounded excited a bit
>
>cum original was more decent than contenders, but not phuckin
>with the other joint.
>
>overall, your delivery is gettin better, keep workin on it. it
>tooks me months to find a delivery I could deal with, and my
>style is still evolvin two years later. like dude said battle
>tracks shouldnt sound like your talking. you should never
>sound like your talking. and your punches should be
>accentuated by your delivery, I shouldn't have to listen for
>punches, they should jump out at me.
>
>as for the writing, your punches just don't cut enough. the
>rest of your writing style is pretty good, but on a
>battle-track you gotta take away the person's (wo)manhood.
>imagine the track were directed at a specific person, they
>oughta be holdin their head in shame in when you're done. pint
>blank period










shouldn't say it all or it will be taken
stolen by the Devil
God's my only vacation


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