The earth is a red line
hot and seamless
that tears the sternum in the center
of my soul
ripping
past
with furious force
leaving behind
unravelled memories of my self
my unself
my selfishness
that haunts me
like my holes


within the quiet meditation of Your presence
I am revealed
the scared sad girl that I am
the bold strong woman that I am
The two of them
twins in one soul
fighting a battle
neither started
nor finished
but one must win

It isn't personal, but that is the intimate thing about this battle

To love him
any him
I must love
You
all of you
I must forgive me
each of me
and pray
that in the process
I am
able
to stand.

In the end
I am the great house divided
a grand garment unmade
angelic ashes in the heavenly hand
of a potter
who has the eyes
to see with faith
what my
vision
cannot
comprehend