Go back to previous topic
Forum nameFreestyle Board
Topic subject
Topic URLhttp://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=7&topic_id=64468
64468, …reminisce over you
Posted by omo_oba, Sun Feb-25-07 12:54 AM
…reminisce over you

soul seeps secrets in upward motions
to my heart’s mind
so i figure it’ll be okay to undo daydreams
about you
unintentionally
we cris cross our patterns till we’re intertwined again
so our limbs can lock in involuntary ways again
and since you won’t help it
i don’t try

one of our many songs is playing our background
but your mouth is moving
saying something pretty that just i don’t need to hear
so i look on as your lips dance
remorseless for my objectifying you
cause you do the same
to my lips
...my eyes
...my thighs

daydreams last longer than reality
so i work up honest nostalgia ridden smiles
as i wrap my arms around images of a deep brown you
chest exposed
pearl colored cotton sheets wrapped at your waist
with your lying beside me
facing my back as i pretend to sleep
you trace the sidelines
the valleys
from my neck
to my waist
and top it off with your trademark kiss on my shoulder blade

alarms buzz silent i like yous
attempting wake ups
but instead we get up to homemade melodies for brunch
and mimosas mixed with my moving for early treats
you can’t help it so you ask if i’ll always dance for you
but after one too many sways i fall lazy
and you follow
back into disheveled sheets
cause a hoofer and a dancer equate our trouble

double rhythm tip taps and turns
and our performances never cease to amaze
cause we look good together
and from afar
love isn’t physical
but our physical is easy
and pretty
64479, RE: …reminisce over you
Posted by Travis Holden, Sun Feb-25-07 03:39 AM
but your mouth is moving
saying something pretty that just i don’t need to hear
so i look on as your lips dance

Liked that part, overall the imagery in this piece real nice, made you really feel the thoughts.
64515, RE: …reminisce over you
Posted by omo_oba, Sun Feb-25-07 05:36 PM
thank you... i kinda updated that part. do you think it loses its quality with my changing it to...

UPDATE:
one of our many songs is playing our background
you say to listen so i can hear how it reminds you of me
your mouth keeps moving
singing something pretty that just i don’t need to hear
so i look on as your lips dance

>but your mouth is moving
>saying something pretty that just i don’t need to hear
>so i look on as your lips dance
>
>Liked that part, overall the imagery in this piece real nice,
>made you really feel the thoughts.
64484, RE: …reminisce over you
Posted by ASIEM, Sun Feb-25-07 04:50 AM
damn i want sum now...
:)
this got straight to it i rize

"keep pennin till the earth birth's your rightful seed then nurture it wit more ink..."
ASIEM
"Kuun fiyah Kuun" Quran
(Be and it is)
" A writer takes his pen to write the words again that all in love is fair" Stevie Wonder
64514, RE: lol
Posted by omo_oba, Sun Feb-25-07 05:34 PM
damn, i'm proud my words can do that
64497, I like you
Posted by empro, Sun Feb-25-07 02:03 PM
And welcome, I'm not sure if I've extended my hand out to you yet so there it is!

But this was powerful and moving in my eyes. I love the fact that I can relate to others work, and you hit home with me with this...

we cris cross our patterns till we’re intertwined again
so our limbs can lock in involuntary ways again
and since you won’t help it
i don’t try

So much power is packed in those 4 lines that speak volumes. Keep doing your thing girlfriend.

I'll see you around
64516, RE: i like you too
Posted by omo_oba, Sun Feb-25-07 05:37 PM
been lurking around the boards getting inspired.

64503, RE: …reminisce over you
Posted by PhotoSynthesis, Sun Feb-25-07 02:21 PM
>alarms buzz silent i like yous
>attempting wake ups
>but instead we get up to homemade melodies for brunch
>and mimosas mixed with my moving for early treats
>you can’t help it so you ask if i’ll always dance for you
>but after one too many sways i fall lazy
>and you follow
>back into disheveled sheets
>cause a hoofer and a dancer equate our trouble


^These^ words -- (((SPARKLE))) -- ~Floating~


*Nice Reminiscing*


64517, RE: …reminisce over you
Posted by omo_oba, Sun Feb-25-07 05:39 PM
thanks... i feel like a cheater though as this is the result of being snowed in and thinking about the one who got away.
i hate love poems lol

>
>
>^These^ words -- (((SPARKLE))) -- ~Floating~
>
>
>*Nice Reminiscing*
>
>
>
64560, updated version
Posted by omo_oba, Mon Feb-26-07 09:41 PM
moving on after this. but here's where i went with this

…reminisce over you

soul seeps secrets in upward motions
to my heart’s mind
so i figure it’ll be okay to undo daydreams
about you
unintentionally
we cris cross our patterns till we’re intertwined again
so our limbs can lock in involuntary ways again
and since you won’t help it
i don’t try

one of our many songs is playing our background
you say to listen so i can hear how it reminds you of me
your mouth keeps moving
singing something pretty that just i don’t need to hear
so i look on as your lips dance
remorseless for my objectifying you
cause you do the same
to my lips
...my eyes
...my thighs

daydreams last longer than reality
so i work up honest nostalgia ridden smiles
as i wrap my arms around images of a deep brown you
chest exposed
pearl colored cotton sheets wrapped at your waist
with your lying beside me
facing my back as i pretend to sleep
you trace the sidelines
the valleys
from my neck
to my waist
and top it off with your trademark kiss on my shoulder blade

alarms buzz silent i like yous
attempting wake ups
but instead we get up to homemade melodies for brunch
and mimosas mixed with my moving for early treats
you can’t help it so you ask if i’ll always dance for you
but after one too many sways i fall lazy
and you follow
back into disheveled sheets
cause a hoofer and a dancer equate our trouble

double rhythm tip taps and turns
and our performances never cease to amaze
cause up close
and with no retouching
we look good together
love isn’t physical
but our physical is easy
and pretty